Perhaps I will just move into the theatre and live in one of the projection booths. The projectors are noisy, but it’s warm up there. There’s even a couch in one of them. (Not that I *need* sleep, of course.) I’d just be missing out on showering…so…maybe not such a great plan?

I picked up some more hours though, so that’s alright. There is an orientation for our new employees on Tuesday, so I will be there for that…probably good, since it’s been five years since I was hired, and I’ve never been to an orientation since then and have no idea what they’re teaching the kids these days.

Thursday I suppose I will also be calling back the insurance adjustor if I don’t hear from them before that…

And then I need to figure out…everything. Too many things.

This has been a terrible year and I shall be glad when it is over.



, , , ,

That was really unfair.

After all the nonsense of everyone you get to know and like dying in Game of Thrones, I’ve gotten a bit more cautious about feeling a particular way about characters I encounter in anything I read or watch (because with the popularity of that series, who’s to say other authors and screenwriters won’t follow suit and kill everyone off?).

Obviously, I am not cautious enough though. I can’t remember another time where I distinctly hated a character, and then realized so suddenly as things progressed that this character I detested was also the only one whose suffering I was moved by.

Not that, “oh, I guess I feel a little bad for you after all”, line of thinking, but rather the kind where their suffering makes you weep and changes your entire perspective on the story because it is the one thing that you want to turn out “right”. And it doesn’t make sense, because you still don’t like this character…but…it’s you now. Because this character is suffering the worst thing you can imagine, and the one that your touch of obsessive compulsion has dictated you to imagine over and over before you sleep. You think about it so often that you are astonished that you are still moved by it at all…but there it was.

Not fair at all.

Ultimately, I suppose I would get over it if it weren’t for my Wolf putting his ears back and growling because he is taking it as another one of those subtle insinuations about the direction our personality has been tending toward…
It makes everything much uglier. And how telling is that word when I notice myself behaving differently about things than I used to? My fascination used to be with looking for and finding what could be me–in looking for what I could understand and identify with in a story because I was desperate to reach out and touch something that understood.

It’s not like that anymore. Now when I notice things and Wolf and I say to ourselves that those things could be us…they’re different things than they used to be. They’re not things I want to look at too closely.

It makes me worry sometimes, that for all my joking about it…maybe I am becoming a worse person. Steadily. Gradually. Bit by bit…

holiday weekend


, ,

Oh, hello.
Still here.

Just, you know. Working a lot. And also still trying to juggle the rest of my life…keep an eye on the cat and make sure he doesn’t start randomly bleeding again…try to figure out how to afford a wedding (oh, wait…that’s probably where the “work all the hours” part comes in)…watch a show that’s really frustrating me because now I dream about it all the time, but they’re the kind of dreams where I forget right away what they were about, and I feel cheated…

I have also reached the stage where I call the insurance adjustor and speak to them in sharp tones about why I don’t have my settlement money yet–I can’t keep paying $600-$700 bills while they drag their feet about it. They said they will try to call me within the week and let me know if they’ve made any progress getting my records from Comrade Doctor’s hospital, since apparently the people at the hospital are not being very helpful and I want very badly to use my chance at space-time manipulation to go back and tell this Dr. Rybaltowski (yes, apparently he has a real name) that I am fine and could probably even go into work… ah well.

*such angst*very frustrate*much facepalm*

Anyway, I’ve had a holiday weekend (well, a Wednesday and Thursday, but that’s good enough for me) for the first time in five years. Nice. I am about to finish it and go to bed after posting this…and dream those vague dreams again, I suppose.

Tomorrow will probably be more of Tuesday night, which was awful because we had weekend business on account of schools being out for Thanksgiving. Didn’t stop them from giving me a weekday staff to run the building.

Corporate: Why are our satisfaction scores from this date so low?
Me: Because I didn’t have enough employees.
C: Tsk tsk. You just didn’t try. Now, how can we stop this from happening again?
Me: Schedule more people.
C: Then we have to pay them for more hours worked.
Me: …yes?
C: You can do better.
Me: Um, no. I’m saving my one opportunity to bend time and space for when it’s really important.
C: That’s what the trouble is with you–misaligned priorities.
Me: *mimes shooting self*

On the upside, Jester and I went to a Mexican restaurant and had some habanero sauce that was so spicy that my face started sweating…an odd sensation for me because I don’t sweat very profusely and also because it was only my face. Like when you open an oven to look at something, and that hot air hits your face. Except without instantly drying your eyes. It was weird.

But yeah. Not looking forward to tomorrow…the Friday after Thanksgiving is always our location’s busiest day, and also the day I remember from last year as when guests were making my employees cry.

Saturday will be worse though, I think. Because I will be up at 530am and probably stay at work through the evening…*sigh*

I’ll try to remember to eat though. Not like Tuesday.

Tyler: This place is sucking out my soul.
Me: My solution? Don’t have a soul.
Tyler: You know, not all of us are fascists like you. Some of us take comfort in having souls.
Me: And in sleeping?
Blair: All I want to take comfort in is my dinner. When are we eating?
Me: Dinner? Oh… *checks time* I guess we are about to close, aren’t we? I forgot…
Blair: You forgot about eating?!
Tyler: Damn Nazis don’t need sleep OR food!
Me: I’ve been busy…
Blair: That’s true.
Me: …busy being superior.
Blair: *laughs*
Tyler: Fuck off.

work work work


, , ,

*tears face off*
What have I done?!?! -_-”

Here’s what: I asked boss-man (who is feeling better and thinks the idea of Christoph Waltz poisoning him is hilarious) today if he could start scheduling me more hours again, and he was pretty gleeful about it. Six shifts a week? Yeah. Okay. *dies*

Here’s the thing though–my cat was peeing blood again a few days ago, and that meant another pricey trip to the vet and more medication. And I am still recovering from September, when he went to the vet twice and the animal hospital once and then had surgery…

And I need to replace the temperature sensor for my engine, since it can’t tell how hot/cold the car is, and if I start overheating, how will I know? By the steam billowing out of the hood, of course. Not that I am particularly worried about that, I guess…

And I STILL don’t have a settlement regarding my accident from back in May, which Wolf me is getting pissed about and the rest of me is just brimming over with dread when we think of it–I mean, what if the hospital gets impatient and expects me to pay thousands of dollars worth of bills??? *dies*

Me: Gah! I need to hop in my Tardis and go back. Tell Comrade Doctor that I made a terrible mistake and I feel better–no head trauma here!
Thabet: I think you took it all a little too seriously when they trained you to never give information to Russians.
Me: *cries*

I need to call the insurance adjuster again. I’m torn between calling next week (she told me it would take 6-8 weeks after they got the info they needed from Comrade Doctor’s hospital, and that was only 3-4 weeks ago…), and possibly not being able to get in touch with anyone because of the stupid Thanksgiving holiday…and waiting ANOTHER week and adding another thing to my list of stuff to cram into December.

AND I need to figure out how to come up with the money for wedding invitations. Because it will cost about the same or MORE to do them ourselves than it would to order them completed by a professional…but that was going to be the one thing my parents were going to pay for, and now they can’t.

Yes. Alright. I’ll work six days a week. -_-”

Guess I’d better get to sleep and try to enjoy it whilst I can.

oh deer


, ,

Took one of the dogs on a long walk today. We saw a buck, so that was exciting. Except…he would trot a few steps, then turn and look at us, and paw the ground…and then Domino would want to trot a few yards, then stop and stare back at him…and then it turned into him trotting beside the treeline, and Domino dragging me down the pathway and SCREAMING because she wanted to get at him so badly.


Hound dogs make some of the worst noises. I’m sure that the people living in the neighborhood on the other side of the trees must think someone was torturing a dog.


Who would torture this dog? Not me. Despite all my claims to the contrary, I’m not that heartless…

Now I should probably start putting away all of the laundry I did yesterday. Cheers.

sleep marathon


, , ,

As promised, I slept for almost 12 hours. And then I haven’t done much at all since waking up, anyway.

Read the second half of a pretty dreadful book that I may have mentioned before: Bimbos of the Death Sun. A book where it seems to me that one of the characters is a thinly veiled version of the author. And she is annoyingly feminist.

You can make about me whatever assumptions you will, now that I’ve said that…but when a character’s sole purpose seems to be just so that the author can tout feminist perspectives, that’s really annoying. Really. Annoying.

But that book is done now, and I’ll never read it again. Although–and I feel a little bad about this–I have a specific person in mind to pawn it off on, rather than dropping it off at the used bookstore for a nickel.

So I did that. And ate some food. And went to the store to take care of some Christmas shopping (I am proud of myself for being halfway done). Cleaned some things. Been doing laundry ever since. I am thinking I’ll finish all of it before bed, but we’ll see.

Not feeling so feverish today, which is good. I suppose that if I slept for 12 hours, I must’ve needed it though.

Now I’m going to try and find something to watch, which ought to occupy me through the last load of laundry. Then to sleep again.



, , ,

I must dying. Or it’s cold out. One of the two.

This is day three of not being able to tell if I am running a fever or not. And it’s cold in the house. My muscles have these screaming pains from all the shivering. *sigh*

In other news: boss is still MIA. Maggie said she saw him briefly yesterday morning, but that he mostly was in his office and didn’t talk to her and left early. That’s pretty unlike him. She said she and Tyler had questions about some things today, but he wasn’t answering their texts. I also have a pretty extensive list of questions about things that happened this past week…but I hope he’s alright. Didn’t realize he was this sick. :/

Tyler was pretty onboard with the dream I’d had though.

Tyler: So wait, our boss was the bad guy from Spectre?
Me: Yeah.
Tyler: So Christoph Waltz was our boss? I’d be cool with that. That would be awesome.
Me: I would have been, except that he became our boss specifically to spite me.
Tyler: I have no problem with anyone being spiteful toward you.
Me: Rude.
Tyler: I mean, I’m not gonna argue with anyone that awesome. He could have fired me and I’d have been cool with it.
Me: Oh?
Tyler: Except that it would have to be the Christoph Waltz from Inglourious Basterds.
Me: *laughs* He does seem a lot friendlier in that one.
Tyler: Hey–you guys should’ve gotten along great, you both being Nazis.
Me: *rolls eyes* Of course. I think it must be a case of having too much in common with someone, so you end up hating each other.

(Fun fact: this has been going on for about a year now. I am shocked that we haven’t gotten bored with this very long-running joke.)

Maggie also put in her two weeks (maybe that’s why Mike didn’t really talk to her Monday…kind of sucks for her to be leaving us right as we go into the holiday season), so we spent a lot of time today speculating about who might be taking her place…

Tyler and I are horrified that we might get a supervisor from our old theatre. The one who we will always remember as the one who told the hiring manager that yes, he had gone to college for flute performance, but had decided to leave the “flute scene” because it’s “too political”. We laughed so much when we heard that story, but they ended up hiring him anyway. *shrugs* Oh well.

I just want to work with someone whose competent and not a jerk.

Bed now. Probably going to sleep most of the day tomorrow, because I feel kind of miserable. Cheers.



, , , ,

Today was some kind of day.

Slept and dreamt off and on about a show I started watching…but I couldn’t keep hold of the plot of this dream, so that’s disappointing. I miss having dreams that I can retell. Haven’t had many lately.

Went to work and the first thing I did was mess up a projector I was supposed to be testing. Had to call IT and get them to bring up the content playlist because I closed it and couldn’t figure out how to bring it back. (I’m so good at my job…)

Then I had to fire an employee for missing three shifts in a row and then coming in this morning like nothing had happened. He doesn’t seem to grasp that he really, really is fired, and he wants to try and talk to our GM tomorrow about it. Not happening.
On the other hand, at least I succeeded in being kind about it. I think.

Then we found out that one of the schools nearby was out today. That was annoying because we weren’t prepared for it…we had three times our estimated attendance for the morning shows.
It frustrates me that children these days never seem to be in school for an entire week at a time. They’ve always got a Monday or a Friday off, or like last Tuesday, apparently some of them were off because they were using the schools as polling locations, and it’s too inconvenient to have children learning while an election is going on. It’s stupid.

Aaand then I had to adjust back to my kind setting because one of the other managers helped a guest on Saturday when I wasn’t there, but the guest was still unhappy…
It turned out that mostly he wanted to talk to a stranger about why he was in town to begin with…about his dad’s funeral and about how he was dealing with seeing family that he wasn’t used to being around. I like to think maybe he was at least satisfied with our conversation, since I couldn’t give him the compensation that he was looking for.

I am only a movie theatre manager after all, not a counselor.

Then, a pregnant woman fell getting out of her car right outside the front doors. She said she was okay, but…she went down pretty hard. It always worries me when they say they’re fine…like…what if they change their minds? Or what if they really are hurt? Gah.

And then I took the longest phone call everrrrrrrrrr.
I wished I’d taken it back in the office and not at the service counter, because our guests tend to just look evilly at me when I’m on the phone and not helping them, even when I am trying to rip tickets one-handed, and am only half-listening on the phone because I’m having two conversations…it’s obnoxious.

Still, I think I did alright with this call. This grandmother wanted to rent a theatre for a family reunion/movie, and she’s been playing phone tag with our GM for a week or something, so she was kind of annoyed. I’d already had to bust out my best set of people-skills today, so she liked me a lot and decided she wasn’t that annoyed. I don’t think I gave her any information that she didn’t already have, but she still managed to talk to me for 10 minutes (an eternity, I assure you…), and checked twice to make sure she’d gotten my name.
I was very clear (I hope) that I am not the person she wanted to make arrangements with, so now I am on the verge of being afraid that she will ask if I can be scheduled that day or some kind of nonsense… *shudders* It’s not like being on dine-in where I’d actually have to serve or something, but I retain a lingering fear of that possibility, and am terrified of our guests requesting me by name. Long-winded Austrian grandmas are no exception.

*considers* Maybe those 10 minutes was spent mostly with her telling me aaaaaall about the extended family that was visiting? It was very slightly relevant, I guess. She was asking me to judge what movies are age-appropriate for the youngest kids that would be there…and inside, even my Wolf is praying that none of the children’s movies we have coming out soon will have inappropriate content that we didn’t know about and unwittingly recommended to a group of 50-60 people… -_______-”

I helped a little bit with the supervisors who were trying to put a Star Wars standee together. We worked at that for about 3 hours, and I never even managed to finish the single letter A that I’d been working on, what with getting pulled away to answer calls and deal with sad guests and guests who fall down and omgeeeeeee…
We gave up after about 4-5 hours, but we’ll finish it tomorrow. It’s got a lot of letters.

While we were struggling with cardboard and fasteners, my theatre buddy revised a SpongeBob song to fit our typical conversations…I’ll leave that for you as I duck offline and go to bed.

Oh, and the original song, too. So you can get a better effect. :P

*sanitizes hands after putting pieces of standee together*
Me: Ahh! Why didn’t someone stop me! I have all these little cardboard cuts all over…

Connor: Yeah, putting these together isn’t as fun as I thought it would be.

Me: It’s fine. I hate fun.

Thabet: But–but fascism is fun!

Connor: What the fell? Fascism?

Me: Omg. Really? Now?

Thabet: Yeah! *sings* F is for fascists who do stuff together. U is for uranium–bombs! N is for the Nazi party, and F-U-N spells fun!

Connor: Um…what just happened?

Me: Well, you’ve been ushered into the presence of Grammar, and my sidekick, Spelling.

Connor: …

Me: Thabet, I think Connor is having a hard time accepting our true identities.

Thabet: That was an awesome song though.

Me: Too awesome. Let it never be heard again.

Thabet: Aww, man…



, , , , , ,

Welp. Tomorrow promises to be an interesting day. Not only am I still not asleep yet when I have to wake up and deal with my arch-nemesis, the Morning Shift…but in a double plot twist, my real boss has fallen ill and I may be tasked with terminating someone tomorrow if he shows up.

My frenemy from the dreamworld may take this as an effort to upstage him. Hopefully not though. I could do without more encounters with dream characters who can hold fluid conversations with me about my thoughts–I kind of prefer those ones who only have conversations with me that don’t make sense or that are incomplete…those conversations don’t feel as real and unsettling. More properly dream-like, you know?

Anyway. Today was a poop day with people not coming in, people coming in sick and me sending them straight back home for the good of the masses, and a guest and I having a conversation that ended approximately when she said, “I’m an attorney.”

Yes. Okay. Very good.
…I’m not entirely clear as to the meaning of that statement.

Like when they say, “I’m a doctor.”
Wunderbar!–but unless someone is choking or has fallen or I have broken my skull from smashing it on the box office glass to relieve my frustrations with your stupid remarks…then I am not caring about whether you are a doctor or a veterinarian or a basket weaver.


Truthfully, I could use a doctor. I think I am coming down with a double ear infection. The kind that doesn’t hurt yet, but since Thursday has been causing my left ear to crackle and pop, and as of this afternoon, has been causing the same for my right ear.

I am going to try and get an appointment for Tuesday.
(Such excite! Much antibiotic! Very co-pay! -_-“)

I am only glad that I am not so badly sick yet that I can’t enjoy things…since yesterday Jester and I got to celebrate 5 years together. I would have been sad to not be able to go out since it was also a Saturday where I was NOT at the theatre.

We went to see a ballet performance of Dracula, which was really interesting, given that it’s the Victorian-era version of the found footage horror films we have today. It was interesting to see it interpreted as a dance, even if Jester liked almost all of the characters better than the one I liked–I thought the girl who danced the part of Lucy did a much better job by far of portraying Lucy as a sort of airheaded girl whose initially cheerful dances got increasingly frantic as she transformed into the vampire, and then became almost joyously demonic when she started trying to kill her friends–none of the other characters progressed as dramatically between their first and last appearances. They were all talented though, to be sure. And at least it wasn’t The Nutcracker, which is the only other ballet I’ve ever seen in my life…

But anyway. I should sleep soon.

Oh…and leave you this. Because they’ve been trying hard to make up for all the remarks they didn’t get to make while I was on vacation, so I’ve got a little stockpile of goofy things my officemates have been saying to me:

Me: This office is a mess. How did this happen?
Blair: It wasn’t like this when I left yesterday.
Me: Well…let’s try and get some of this mess sorted out while we have a minute… *sprays down the countertop and starts cleaning while Blair collects trash*
Blair: I saw this vine that reminded me of you.
Me: Oh?
Blair: Yeah. This guy with the little Hitler moustache–he’s wiping down countertops, and he says in his little German accent, “I’m cleaning as facist I can!”
Me: …
*Blair laughs*

new boss


, , , ,

So, I post that bit about firing villains last night, and then I dream about work.

In my dream, I come in and find out that I have a new boss. And it’s him. That could have been alright, since I think the last time this character showed up in one of my dreams, we had a nice conversation. Except he looks kind of angry this time, and tells me to sit down.

He says that he saw my post, and was sad that it was true–he wasn’t getting anywhere as a villain. But…how do you find a new field of work when all of your primary experience is in plotting evil? He said that even though he wasn’t very successful, villainy was all he had going for him. It was rude of me to think I could do better.

And…then it occurred to him that maybe the next best thing to do would be to become my boss and tell me how to do my job and see how I liked it…and he just gives me this look. This really dark look that I know I am also capable of…but…definitely not when my boss is already doing it. And absolutely not at all when said boss is a newly retired villain.

…I think that after this initial part of the dream, I woke up a little bit…and when I dozed off again, there he still was, giving me the evil eye.

So…all I have to say is that I take it back. I apologise to all the villains out there who nobody listens to, and who are therefore prone to monologing at inopportune times.

If any villains feel the need to visit me in the dream world, I would much prefer we have a nice conversation. One where you are not my boss (because that makes me a minion, doesn’t it?), and where you are not secretly hoping to have mastered the ability to kill with a glance.

Not cool. Not cool at all.


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