low-key evil


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Welp. This is the end of day 6 of my illness…

I’ve never had a cold come on so damned fast. I was fine at work last Friday, and then I got home and BAM. I knew I was sick. And my shifts were such that I couldn’t really skip out on them and have someone else take over. And one of my employees pointed out that I must be especially unhappy because everyone else had the sicknesses during the holidays, so they all suffered together, and now that I’m late to the party, “nobody feels bad for you.”

Thaaaaaaanks, Karen.

This also happened–

Me: *coughing* Why did you spray so much air freshener in here?
Thabet: It’s not air freshener. It’s germicidal cleaner. And I sprayed it because of you.
Me: Me?
Thabet: You’re sick and you’ve been touching everything!
Me: And I’ll do it again. *touches a fingertip to the countertop, the keyboard, the computer mouse, the monitor screen…*
Thabet: Ha! *taps monitor screen* Nobody ever touches the screen!
Me: You literally just did.
Thabet: Damn it!
Me: Heh heh heh.
Thabet: Okay, so you got me there.
Me: If only I could use my powers for more useful evil things. This kind of low-level evil doesn’t impress anyone. Just imagine–‘Mein Führer! *pretends to wave someone over* I’ve managed some truly evil things today. I forwarded you a full account, but I also brought a copy with me just in case you didn’t get the one I sent–I promise you’ll be impressed this time!’
Thabet: *laughs* Hitler spends all his time trying to avoid you.
Me: *sigh* I’ll never be evil enough…but…at least we don’t have to work in squalor anymore, since you wiped everything down. *looks under the desk* We’ll just ignore the floor situation.
Thabet: Yeah, they are bad…remember when you used to make me clean the office every night?
Me: Beats doing it myself. Another stroke of evil genius. Hey! *looking under the desk again* There’s a chocolate right next to the ant trap we put down…ants aren’t even going to go in the trap now that they have options!
Thabet: You know what, I’ll fix that. *picks up the chocolate and goes to put it on top of the ant trap, promptly putting his hand into a spider web* Oh God–a SPIDER! *bolts out of the room*
Me: *busts up laughing for a solid minute*
Thabet: *comes back to the office* I hate you.

Another low-key evil thing about me: I’ve always found it pretty hilarious when people run from insects that don’t have wings. I mean…why?
So that was probably the best moment out of my entire weekend. (Which you can use to help you judge just how poorly I have been feeling…)

I feel much better than I did though. Probably from just not being at work, which is irritating me still to the point where I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

I slept badly last night…from about 2-6am, and then again from 9-1, with this stupid stretch of time in between where I couldn’t get comfortable and my skin was itching quite badly (stupid winter air…). Finally took some melatonin to knock myself out again.

And I felt well enough when I woke up…did some cleaning in the apartment and laundry…but started feeling bad right before Jester got home from work. Feverish and tired. Took something for the fever and ate a sandwich with him when he got back…he went to sleep and I came back in here to write a post, but couldn’t focus, so instead I finished up Dracula vs. Hitler.

About midway through the book the story got a lot better…I was kind of impressed with some of the things Duncan did as a nod to Stoker’s original story. Good for him. The ultimate characterization of Dracula was a liiiiiittle disappointing, and I think he left one distinctly gaping plot hole in the story…but in view of the overall story, I see that maybe these were unavoidable in order to bring about the meeting between Dracula and Hitler, which is the whole purpose of this particular book, after all.

So not the best book I’ve ever read, but it was definitely better than I was afraid it might be.



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I am one-hundred-thousand percent not a morning person. And I never will be, I think. I feel more exhausted after waking up early 3 days in a row than I do after…well…most things, really. And I even tried very hard to get adequate sleep each of the three nights before my opening shifts. :/

Jester was shocked that I was getting ready for bed at 8-9pm…I don’t think he’d like it as much as he thinks, if I worked strictly day shifts. I really need to sleep 7-8 hours, so getting up at 6am means being asleep no later than 10-11…and today I woke up at 5, so 8-9pm is bedtime…

Daytime me has to sleep like an old person.

Also, I very suddenly stopped being able to breathe properly as my shift was ending today…my sinuses are extremely stopped up, yet my nose is also constantly running…? It’s annoying me.

Work is also annoying. I don’t think it’s going to be a source for amusing anecdotes anymore. Now it just feels like actual work. Still. Not looking to quit or anything crazy (although I’ll probably make sarcastic remarks about it often enough to my officemates) because raises are next month. That and I really, really, reallyreallyreally want to stay at this job long enough to use my saved vacation time. Golly…at my current rate of accrual, I’ll have enough time saved by June that I could take a vacation of 11 days. I’d LOVE to have 11 days off…

Granted, I did when we got married last spring, but half of that vacation was spent with the stress of last-minute wedding plans and moving into the apartment and all kinds of not-very-relaxing things. Like…11 days…man…

I wouldn’t even know what to do.

And that’s my problem any time I don’t have to work, anyway. Like…do I just sleep all day and relax? Or do I spend every available moment doing all the things that I never have time to do?

I’m not very good at striking balance in vacation mode. I only ever want to do one or the other, and then I’m always disappointed with myself no matter which I choose.

I think I already have too-high expectations for the 18th-21st, but we’ll see.

I’m trying to not think too much about it right now, and instead just trying to enjoy what I can during this annoying 8-days in a row.

Things like:
– Having dinner with Jester two days in a row this week. Because it’s weird to have extremely variable schedules, and realize sometimes how little time we get to spend together.
– Drinking hot tea with honey.
– Reading through Dracula vs. Hitler, which I’m halfway through and I think today I left off at a pivot-point in the plot.
– Trying matcha-flavoured things…so far just KitKat minis and Pocky, but I have on my list to try some of the Hello, Panda snacks and to also find a place to get matcha macarons. I am genuinely surprised I’ve liked it as much as I have. Maybe I should also find a place to try actual matcha? (I say that knowing full well that I already did find someplace and I just need to find a time to go there).
– Listening to Nachtmahr. I kind of feel bad about this one, but only the teeniest bit because I don’t like eeeeeeverything from them…just a handful of songs right now. Tbh I think I give up on feeling apologetic about music I like. FINALLY. Just as well, since I am 90% sure they will end up on my 2017 end-of-year playlist. And also…I’m really excited that I can recognize so many words in the songs…still not enough to fully grasp content without trying to find the lyrics or translations of them…but…I still feel at least a little pleased with myself. Even more when I consider that understanding lyrics in industrial music can be difficult even if it’s in English. 😛

Anyway, I can’t stand to stay awake any longer. I don’t work until late tomorrow though, so plenty of time to rest up.


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First thing first: has anyone else been having problems with posts not loading in their WordPress reader? For almost a week now, mine had been either not loading or struggling to load them, but idk why…

Also, I’m getting behind on reading again. (surprise!)
Gotta finish Dracula vs. Hitler! :O

I admit the book has some of the flaws I was expecting…but so far it’s still fairly readable. And then it’s just a short 94 more books and 5anthologies left before I’ll have FINALLY read through my entire book collection (and tbh, only 27 of those books are “new” to me in that I haven’t read them before).

I can do it! *determined*

It’ll just take me, like, 4 years or something.

Other updates:

Work–blegh. Working the next 8 days. Not too excited.

Jester–I am annoyed with his new coworkers. Someone said he’s “too bubbly”, and he seems pretty crushed by that because he wants everyone to like him…and they should. (I said without any bias whatsoever). Naturally, Wolf-me wants to go break their faces. Or maybe just their fingers, until one of them confesses to having said this thing which has upset him…

Music–So…this music isn’t super, which shouldn’t surprise anyone because I have bad taste…but I’ve been listening to a few of those neofolk pop-covers over and over…and I determined that you should have the chance to as well. So here is the one I’ve been listening to most.

I can see why they picked to do this one…so much violent imagery already in the song.

I don’t even know what I’ll think when I finally get around to reading the book they got their name from…we’ll know in four books from now, I guess.


books I read last year…ish


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So, I came across a year-review for books, and was reminded that I never posted my reading list for September of 2015-September of 2016 because when I moved, I misplaced the flash drive where I’d kept the list…

I’ve found it again though. Yay. So Imma post that now, as I’m halfway into my ’16-’17 reading year (and so far I’ve read a pitiful number of books…I blame work).

* Marks the books I was recommended or given.
± Marks books I would like to get rid of (message me if any of them look interesting, since I might still have them and could send them to you)
#Marks my personal favourites from this batch

1. Spies – Marcel Beyer (translation by Breon Mitchell)#
Such a sad book. This was my second reading, and I get it a little better…but I still couldn’t figure out just what was wrong with everyone…

2. The Absolutist – John Boyne
This was kind of a disappointing book. I think it was a good try, for what the author was doing, but I don’t necessarily recommend.

3. Assorted poetry – John Donne#
My favourite Renaissance poet. I always enjoy reading these…a good alternative if you like the Renaissance but don’t like Shakespeare.

4. The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway#
Ah, I still love this book. I still will never, ever agree with all the critics and my classmates who insist Jake gets over things in the end.

5. The Masque of Blackness – Ben Johnson
Renaissance blackface. That’s all I can say about this one. It was like…Disney-esque costuming and stage directions, but really freaking racist.

6. Assorted poetry – Ben Johnson
This didn’t make much of an impression on me, I guess, seeing as how I don’t remember a bit of it.

7. Hero and Leander – Christopher Marlowe
Spoilers: sex and death. But Marlowe is probably my other favourite Renaissance author, so there’s that.

8. The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus – Christopher Marlowe
Faustus…that freaking idiot. I hate him so much that I wrote no less than three spite-fueled term papers about how stupid he is.

9. A Dance with Dragons – George R.R. Martin
Ah, I can’t wait for the next one…

10. Bimbos of the Death Sun – Sharon McCrumb*
Know what’s not annoying? Feminism in general. Know what is super annoying? An author who creates characters specifically to spew about feminist ideas, rather than to move the story forward or to contribute in a meaningful way. “Show, don’t tell,” they say…

11. Zombies of the Gene Pool – Sharon McCrumb*
Did not enjoy. The story was somewhat dated, and I think that was a big reason why…plus the problem stated above, again.

12. The Forgotten Beasts of Eld – Patricia McKillip#
Much better female protagonist than the two above books. Also…I can’t believe this book was sold at a book fair. To elementary aged kids. Because there is this evil would-be rapist king… Yikes. I first read this book as a kid, and I didn’t know that was going on…but adult me is kind of unnerved that child me read this book.

13. The Hero and The Crown – Robin McKinley*
Again, bad outcomes for female characters! This time it was because the protagonist had to give up her throne to a male character because the people wouldn’t trust someone with magical heritage to rule them…and then he asks her to marry him…and instead of leaving this prejudiced kingdom and enjoying her magical powers and living happily ever after with a nice wizard guy she meets, she gives up her powers and everything to do with magic, because of her “duty to her country and her new husband”. Vomit. I was so mad.

14. Dragonhaven – Robin McKinley*#
Same author, MUCH better story. I liked the diary narration of this one.

15. Zombie Haiku – Brian Mecum#
I don’t like haiku as a form, but this makes it fun.

16. Vampire Haiku – Brian Mecum
Not as good as the zombie one.

17. My Friend Flicka – Mary O’Hara*#
One of my favourite books. It has horses and fairly moving drama.

18. Thunderhead – Mary O’Hara*#
A sequel that wasn’t disappointing! The drama carries over, but is somehow even thicker than the first time around, without being as sad though.

19. It Must Look Pretty Appealing – Leanor Inez Ortega
Poetry from a saxophone player in the ska band Five Iron Frenzy.

20. Goth – Otsuichi#
Little effed-up vignettes that follow a pair of antosocial schoolmates through gruesome crimes they encounter.

21. Hipira – Katsuhiro Otomo*
A picture book about a little vampire child.

22. Death: A Life – George Pendle#
This book is hilarious if you know classical literature. I was excited to see a book where my degree at least helped me get all the jokes.

23. This Present Darkness – Frank Peretti*
Christian supernatural fiction. Interesting concepts for characters, though it does fall into some of the stereotypes people have about Christians…

24. Piercing The Darkness – Frank Peretti*
Same as above.

25. The Visitation – Frank Peretti
The supernatural aspect of this one was less interesting, but I appreciated the simultaneous story Peretti tells about how difficult and foolish people in the “evangelical culture” can be. It was very honest.

26. The Last Book in The Universe – Rodman Philbrick
Unsettling post-apocalyptic story.

27. What Happened to Lani Garver – Carol Plum-Ucci*#
An interesting story about whether a new kid in town is a gay runaway or a guardian angel. And about people being cruel.

28. Nevada – Joshua S. Porter
A book from the vocalist in Showbread. It’s fiction, but it pissed me off…the violence against women was some of the worst I’ve seen in a book–and I’ve read Game of Thrones. At least GRR Martin makes his female characters into people who are being hurt, rather than objects that are being hurt. I was extremely upset that this book came from someone whose music and lyrics I had a fair amount of respect for…but hey…it distracted me from the other drawbacks that you find in self-published novels!

29. Horror Stories – Ed. Susan Price*
Ugh…the story about the pear drum…*shudders*

30. The New Vampire’s Handbook – “Miles Proctor”
Kind of amusing, but nothing too clever.

31. Emily the Strange: The Lost Days – Rob Reger
Chapter-book/comic mashup. I like Emily. She is smart and creepy and also reminds me a little of my friend Toni. Probably because she’s little and pale and likes cats.

32. Emily The Strange: Stranger and Stranger – Rob Reger
In this one, Emily clones herself. It’s like if my Wolf and I were both here together…we’d hate each other, I think.

33. All Quiet on The Western Front – Erich Maria Remarque (translation by A.W. Wheen)#
This book is upsetting. So, so upsetting. Naturally, I love it.

34. The Road Back – Erich Maria Remarque (translation by A. W. Wheen)#
Also a book that is upsetting and which I really enjoyed. Definitely not inaccessible like a lot of online reviewers were making it out to be.

35. Astrophil and Stella – Sir Philip Sidney
I don’t even remember what this is about, tbh. I’m not too into Sidney.

my opinion as a consumer of stories


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In an attempt to uphold my resolution to see friends more, I went to get dinner with Toni and Schyler today…it wasn’t a long visit, but it was good to see them again since the last time I actually saw either of them was waaaay back at the wedding…

My favourite part was probably when I was telling tales of theatre woe (man, I need to get to where I can go completely without talking or writing about it), and Toni had an excellent reaction when I mentioned who our new boss is.

Toni: Oh my GAWD, I’m so sorry! I feel like Hitler would be a better boss than her.

Of course she doesn’t know about our constant making everything into a Nazi joke, but that made it even better. 😛

The rest of my day I spent at the theatre watching movies so I can catch up on everything I’d missed out on over the holiday season.

I saw Arrival and Passengers, and they’re both watchable movies, but there were some things in each that I’d consider pretty serious flaws. Arrival it was more that I didn’t like the plot twist once I realized what it was going to be…and Passengers it was more that I didn’t particularly buy the ending.

Jester and I are going to go see Rogue One tomorrow, I think…and then I’ll be all caught up.

Just spent the last half hour clicking around in IMDB, and I’m not especially wowed by much that’s coming out this year. Blegh.

Welp. Maybe less busy, eh? Idk. Not likely, I guess, since there are, like, 4 superhero movies, a Star Wars installment, and Emma Watson as a Disney princess all slated for 2017.

I’ll admit this much: since I started working for my theatre, I’ve come to realize more and more that I prefer a really well written television show to a movie. There are good movies, of course, but I usually feel let down by them…like they have the bigger names and better music and blah blah blah…but the story usually feels bigger than the allotted amount of time they have, and I always get disappointed that they can’t look at more of what’s going in on the little universe contained in the movie. So tv shows > movies for me. And miniseries are sometimes even better, I think, because they know when to stop and don’t drag things into ridiculousness like a long-running television show does…

I think that’s why I like Dr. Who and American Horror Story so much…because in one, you have the same “character” and the same concept of companions travelling through time and space, but the companions are always changing and the Doctor is always changing and keeping it new…plus, come on…you have all of time and space to adventure in! If you make that boring, it’s through bad actors or bad writing, and not with a bad concept at least.

And American Horror Story has a lot of reoccurring cast members, which I like because (so far) they keep coming back the same, but different, and it’s an interesting concept to me…the multiple performances of a core troupe of actors, with variations in character and with some other revolving faces to make it new each season.

I think the only other miniseries that I really remember enjoying was Generation War…and for a three part series (and a foreign language one, to boot), they covered an impressive amount of story and managed a lot of character development, too. And you don’t get that in feature length movies because of time constraints. And when they try to get around those, they do it wrong and stretch The Hobbit into 3 movies, but add all of this unnecessary action that doesn’t serve the plot or characters, and detracts from the story as a whole. Frustrating, that.

It’s like books…I think one of the most impressive things about Harry Potter or The Lord of The RingsGame of Thrones, too…is that they remain successful as a series well past the second and third installments. I don’t think that’s true of a lot of stories. Like Oryx and Crake–I liked that there was a second book, but the story was dying by the time I got to the third one. Same with Cassandra Clare’s Shadowhunter series, and with Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles…the plots start getting weird and stale after a certain point, but they keep going…and with Clare I at least liked the Clockwork installments of the series, but that was because she took the things from her created world that were familiar, and gave them fresh characters and a new setting and plot…and Rice does that better in some of the later Vampire Chronicles than in others, but, really…it’s not consistent, and you can tell how tired the characters get by the increasing weirdness of the plots.

This, of course, is another reason I like short stories a lot…because they end when they end. They don’t go on for too long, and any good writer of short stories knows that they can and should go back and revisit the worlds or characters or creatures that clearly had more to tell about than they could fit into the first short story. It’s one of the things I really appreciate about Neil Gaiman and Laird Barron, because they seem to know which characters and stories had more to tell about, and they revisit them and don’t make the visits disappointing.

Anywho…it’s late and I should probably go to bed now and stop spewing so much unasked for opinion into the void.


everything is such a pain


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For reals.

New boss is seriously stressing me out. And old boss, a little, even though he’s gone, since my current stress is kind of his doing…because I guess there are a LOT of things we’ve been doing wrong for HR, which is unfortunately my department…but…I didn’t know they were wrong, as Mike never mentioned it. So now new boss is–understandably–constantly on me about fixing it all, and today was literally the last day of winter break for all of our area schools, so I haven’t had time to fix any of it and I’d really like her to calm down and let the dust settle first.

I will do all the things. Promise. I just need to actually be able to step off of the floor and do work in the office to make all the things happen that she wants.

A side note: Wolf me loathes her voice, which is kind of high pitched and grating. So that’s not helping motivate us to do more work, faster, either.

Today we also got in our post-holiday, we’re-out-of-stock-for-every-single-item order, and since I had to wait for our show schedule to be written before I could write the crew schedule, I decided I’d help put it away…

I regret that decision.

My whole body hurts. Not to mention I’m exhausted from too many nights of crappy sleeping.

Also, a special grievance–the two things that I’d personally like to improve on this year (yes, I made resolutions…we’ll see if they’re any good) are my interactions with friends–visits, emails, texts, etc–and my posture.

I don’t have very good posture, tbh, and it’s one of the biggest things about my appearance that bothers me. Lots of other things about myself that I don’t like much are easy to overlook because most people are never going to be in such close proximity to me that they’d even notice…but everyone I meet is going to notice that my posture is terrible. So I’ve been trying to be somewhat more mindful of it, but I don’t think it’s going the way I’d anticipated.

See…there’s this specific muscle group in my back that I can feel tightening when I stand straighter, and it didn’t occur to me until the other night that they are the same muscles that have been in knots for about a week or so, and which haven’t loosened up despite my busting out the heating pad and ibuprofen, or Jester trying to work out the knots for me.

It sucks. And I made it worse by lifting too many heavy things…

I also didn’t get my mini-vacation request granted…boss lady said she’d put me in for next week, but grr…I guess I’m glad I didn’t make plans with anyone for that time. Except my mom, I guess, but I can always go see her a different day. :/

OH, and this–(I promise I will stop complaining!)–everyone at the theatre is fucking sick. Like, bad sick. Brandi and I sent Thabet home last night because he was coughing stuff up and it sounded teeeeerrrrrrribbbble…and a bunch of the crew have also been losing their voices and having respiratory issues, and the ones that didn’t get that have instead gotten a vomit/diarrhea bug…
And naturally, I am spending most of my waking time around all of this. And the weather is doing that thing that it does which tends to coincide with my winter illnesses…they always seem to happen when we have a spike in temperatures, accompanied by lots of rain and dampness…and the last two days have been warm enough that if I weren’t worried about sickness, I probably could’ve not worn a coat out. Plus rain. So much rain.

(Also, this is kind of why I detest spring so much. Out of all the seasons it seems to have the most wildly fluctuating temperatures. And also neverending rain.)

Right now I have a little congestion, but it doesn’t seem serious. Yet. I’m just worried that it will get worse, because Jester is in that transition period between full-time jobs where you don’t have insurance with the old job, but benefits at the new one don’t kick in for 30 days or something…so we have no insurance and that’s kind of terrifying.

So yeah. Everything’s stacked to make me lose my mind, and I can’t WAIT for Thursday so that I can NOT get up early and NOT go to work, but also see Toni because she said we could get dinner that night (barring a sudden worsening of respiratory ailment, of course). So there, check one for my making an effort to be social.

On the upside…those neo-folk covers of pop songs were re-uploaded to youtube. So I listened to that while I angrily made my way through the crew schedule. And I even kind of like some of the songs…


bad start


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At this time last year, the hospital was trying to put a lien on me because I still hadn’t received my payment from the auto insurance company, and thusly still hadn’t paid my bills from my visit to Comrade Dr…

Thankfully that is not how I’m starting 2017. Instead, it was with a crap day at work where someone yelled at me and my new boss told me later that I should’ve found a way to get a word in and make him happy, and not just stand there until he runs out of things to yell about before addressing him. (Because interrupting angry people makes them stop yelling…riiiight….)

And then I finally left and came home and had a compulsion-driven rage attack because there were food boxes and cereal all over the floor, and also because Jester completed a chore that I’d been working on, but hadn’t finished…and…this makes me unreasonably angry…because reasons. -_-”

And then I read blog posts about my being the #1 source of depression…which I am extremely hurt by, but w/e. Wolf me says “achievement unlocked!” because he is horrible and doesn’t have the sense to be hurt or to feel sorry for contributing to someone’s bad frame of mind…just angry…

So yeah, 2017 isn’t necessarily better so far, but I’m gonna get out to work soon and see how Day 2 goes.

…if I saved my receipt, I can still exchange it for my old 2016, right?



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Aha, my last song for 2016. Then it’s back to me raging against my job and Erika’s maintenance, or making rambling posts about insomnia and reading and questionable conversations I have with my theatre comrades.

1 this year is Kinder der Sterne by Blutengel, featuring Meinhard.

Number one reason I liked this song: twinkly sounds.

It made me happy to have a song with stars and twinkles in it. Although further reflection makes me think that it’s not about literal stars, although there is something along the lines of that Carl Sagan quote about how we are all made of stardust–mostly though it seems to be about how we are temporary creatures, living lives that flame out quickly as we hurtle into the void.

Super cheerful, I know. I suppose that accounts for some of the zeal of the song…the whole “eat, drink, and be merry” attitude one might have, knowing that he is hurtling into the void. Out of all the Blutengel videos that I have actually watched, I think this one is one of the more successful at depicting those ideas in a short visual story, too, so there’s that as well.

Musically, other than the twinkles, I liked the guest artist’s vocals…I think his delivery is really theatrical without falling into the Goth music stereotype of being low and broody. (Which is one of the things I like best about the genre, don’t get me wrong…but it’s also one of the things non-Goth fans are quick to point out to me…that “all the artists sound alike”, which I know isn’t true, but it’s what they tell me.)
I’ve tried listening to some of Meinhard’s music, and was disappointed to find that I don’t much like the style. I still downloaded a few of them in hopes that maybe they’ll grow on me, so we’ll see…either way, it was a nice change. And it also saves me from having all 7 of my top songs be straight-up Blutengel, which Jester was really disappointed by when he saw my list. x_x”

Anyway…that’s it for music. I hope you all have a great opening to the New Year. I’ll be at my theatre, celebrating by sweeping up popcorn, filling out paperwork, and getting holiday pay.

Maybe not next year…but who knows, eh?


Previous #1 Songs
2015: Das Feuerordal By Rome
2014: A Legacy of Unrest by Rome
2013: Les Iles Noires by Rome
2012: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye, featuring Kimbra
2011: Vergissmeinnicht by Eisbrecher



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2 is Über den Horizont by Blutengel.

Ugh…I like this song so much. It was #1 last year in my most-listened-to playlist. I think it only moved down one slot because I got really excited about the song that ended up in the #1 slot, and listened to it on repeat on a lot of my long drives.

I mentioned last year that this song seemed like it could have two completely different interpretations…either kill yourself, or…don’t.

I’ve considered that more since last year, and I guess it really depends on whether you interpret the speaker in this song as a personification of Death, or as someone living. And that makes it even more difficult to determine the correct interpretation, because I wouldn’t’ve even considered Death as the speaker without the video…so relying only on the song, it’s telling you to be brave and go forward with a companion. Buuut the video seems to have Death as a potential speaker, which changes the song to be about giving up and being brave when you go on your journey with Death.

It definitely wins as the most ambiguous song I’ve enjoyed this year, what with these two completely opposing possibilities. I already made my mind up last year about which interpretation I favour, but that doesn’t mean I’m right…

It’s also different from the other sad songs I’ve included, as it’s one of those sad ones that makes me feel a little better despite the sadness in it. I think maybe part of that is the tempo…it’s pretty fast, tbh…less time to be melodramatic and draw out the sadness.

The other musical feature of this song that I like a lot is the lower-pitched twinkles. In the chorus part there are a few twinkly-sounding notes that go down the scale instead of staying higher up. I never noticed them until this past spring, when I’d already been enjoying the song for the better part of a year…but now that I’ve noticed them, I can’t help but hear them.

That’s it for now.

Previous #2 Songs
2015: Le voile de l’oubli by Rome
2014: Swords to Rust by Rome
2013: A Legacy of Unrest by Rome
2012: Song For Mike by The Zydepunks
2011: My Despair by In Strict Confidence



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3 this year was Irgendwann, by Blutengel.

Buuut I don’t have a link to share the song with you because the one I used last year was posted by a youtube user who is now blocked in the US for copyright infringement, so yeah. No song today. But I will post a little piece of the lyrics.

I liked Irgendwann mostly because it is another one of those “sad, but not too sad” songs which I really appreciate. Also because it’s another song that’s been useful to help me remember simple verb conjugations. And prepositions. This one also had some good prepositions.

I mentioned last year when I posted it that I really liked the chorus, and I do…so I’ll go ahead and post that bit.

Und die Welt um uns bleibt stehen
Werden wir uns wiederseh’n?
Wenn nicht heute, wenn nicht hier…
Irgendwann bin ich bei dir.

Wird die Zeit langsam vergehen?
Werden wir uns wiederseh’n?
Wenn nicht morgen, wenn nicht hier..
Irgendwann bist du bei mir.

And the world around us stops.
Will we see each other again?
If not today, if not here…
some time I will be with you.

Will the time pass slowly?
Will we see each other again?
If not tomorrow, if not here…
sometime you will be with me.

The lyrics themselves don’t look impressive, but music can make lots of trivial sounding things seem meaningful, and because of that I’m sorry I couldn’t share the music portion of the song with you this time. But still, there are two more to go, and those both have links I can post–a favourite from last year and a new one that I almost didn’t even bother listening to, but I’m glad I did because it got to be #1.

Previous #3 Songs
2015: A Legacy of Unrest by Rome
2014: To Die Among Strangers by Rome
2013: They’re Taking The Hobbits to Isengard by Erwin Beekveld
2012: My World by Colony 5
2011: Quicksilver by The