I can’t write papers. I can’t. I don’t want to. I hate life. I hate papers most. What will I do when I graduate? All I know how to do is write papers and I hate it. Why don’t English majors ever do anything useful? Who cares about scholarly papers except other English majors? Nobody. But… I’m an English major and even I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t hate the South. I don’t hate it I don’t hate it I don’t hate it I don’t Caddy smelled like trees and my shadow got to the trees before Luster’s did. I don’t hate the South I don’t hate it. I hate papers instead. And the Compsons. I hate Quentin just like John does, but I feel very Quentin Compson about Mittens, she’s my person. She’s a person, the cat said. No The trees smelled like Caddy. Or did they? Maybe I do hate the South. Quentin doesn’t. He says so again and again and again. John hates Quentin and Quentin hates the South. Does John hate the South? I don’t hate it isn’t just any person, she’s my person. John hates theatre. There’s nothing manly about theatre, he says. She talked him into theatre and now he hates it and wrote a Hemingway about it. He doesn’t have a person, but the end of his parody I hate theatre. I don’t hate theatre. I don’t hate it I don’t hate it I don’t Everything is the South. South South South. Why is the only redneck I ever knew from Maryland? What are the chances of my drawing the South Africa card? He doesn’t know. If he would stop hitting on you we could be friends. We could be friends if he would just stop writing songs about See what Faulkner taught me?
This is my life in a Faulkner-esque nutshell.
I am now an English major.
Day In The Life Of… YOU!
Rise & Shine, Darling
01 // What time to you wake up on a school day?
MWF: 9AM; TTH: 8AM
02 // Are you woken up or do you just naturally wake up?
03 // Do you make your own breakfast?
This varies greatly.
04 // Do you bring a lunch or buy one at school?
This also varies.
05 // Underline what you do in the morning:
Go to the bathroom
Feed your pet
Talk to your family
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Put on makeup
Brush your hair
Straighten your hair
Put on deoderant/perfume
Go back to sleep
Your little siblings get ready
Do the dishes
06 // What do you usually wear on a regular day of school?
07 // Alright so let’s say you decide to dress up. What would you wear?
Pants and a shirt. Dress shoes.
08 // Do you skip school or try to fake sick?
If I skip I either AM sick or I didn’t get enough done.
09 // On a scale of 1/10, how hard is it for you to get up in the morning?
7 or 8. Maybe a 9 on a bad day. I hate morning.
10 // Do you look forward to going to school in the morning?
RINGGG…Time For School!
01 // What annoying stereotype would you fit into, if you had to choose?
Uhh… I’m in college.
02 // Do you have a lot of friends?
03 // What is your best subject?
I’m an English major if that helps.
04 // What is your worst subject?
05 // Are you on the honor roll?
Try Dean’s List. I don’t think I’ll be there this semester though…
06 // What are the teacher’s opinion of you?
I think some of them like me and some of them don’t care because they don’t know me.
07 // Have you ever cussed out a teacher?
08 // Are you bullied at school?
09 // Are you usually invited to awesome parties?
No. Don’t care.
10 // Who are your best girl friends at school?
Emily and Sarah, I guess.
11 // Who are your best guy friends at school?
John and my Chrisface.
12 // Do you actually do your homework?
13 // What about study?
14 // Do you pass notes in class?
Who would I pass them to?
15 // What is your general opinion about school?
It can be nice.
16 // What grade are you in?
17 // …Do you even go to school?
Chilling Like a Villain
01 // What time do you get home from school?
Anywhere between 4 and 11:30PM.
02 // How do you get home?
Mum and Dad. Or Chris sometimes.
03 // What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Put my stuff somewhere.
04 // Do you usually have friends over?
05 // Or do you friends invite you over?
06 // What public place do you like to hang out at?
07 // Do you go shopping during the week?
08 // What activities or sports do you do?
Mmm… radio. I have a radio show.
09 // Do you take surveys a lot after school?
Depends. Just look at the last few posts…
10 // What is your curfew?
11 // Do you usually go out on a school night?
No, considering two of my school nights are so late anyway…
13 // Do you think it’s fun to party and hang out or are you too focused on school?
Focused on school… although not focused enough apparently.
14 // Do you get out a lot?
15 // Do you get bored easily?
Catch Some ZZZ’s
01 // How late are you allowed to stay up?
As late as I can.
02 // Do you fall asleep in front of the TV?
03 // What do you wear to bed?
Pajamas. Mostly old shirts and PJ pants.
04 // How many hours of sleep do you get in a night?
Not enough or way too many.
05 // Do you stay up on the computer really late?
You tell me.
06 // Do you read before you go to bed?
Sometimes. I needa get the next book…
07 // What about listen to music?
08 // Are you a heavy sleeper?
Depends. I guess I am.
09 // Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Not that I can recall.
10 // Do you take off all your makeup before you go to sleep?
Sometimes I rub my eyeliner off before I go to sleep… I didn’t last night and when I got up today I looked like I had a black eye. It amused me.
11 // Do you take a shower the night before or in the morning?
12 // Do you sleep with a pet.. or if you don’t have one, a stuffed animal?
No, but I have a Five Iron Frenzy sweatshirt that I sleep with. I don’t wear it… just sleep with it.
13 // Do you have to share your room with a sibling?
“What’s pico de gallo? Is that dip maybe? Gasp! Reesy does dip… I didn’t think you were that kind of person… you need to lay off the druggies!”
(for the record, I am very drug-free. In spite of that first section of this post. I promise.)