Well, I worked on an entry yesterday and then when I went to post it, my internet started acting up and the log editor was hating me and mocking me and not working for me…bah.
So I didn’t post my entry and that’s probably for the best because it was really not very nice of me to hate on the entire world (or, that portion of its inhabitants who are known to me) since it’s probably not really justified and would only serve to make me look childish and like the bloodthirsty part of my personality might not be purely fictional like it is when I am talking to Kerri, for instance…
*watching the telly in silence*
Reeser: What?! Jeez…there’s no need to scream. I’m right here.
Kerri: Sorry…it’s just…your juice!
Reeser: *irritated* What about it?
Kerri: It’s red.
Kerri: It looks like *drumroll* blood! You’re a vampire, Reesy!
Um, no. We did discuss me getting angry though and why it’s a good thing that I’m not a vampire. If I were, everything within at least a football-field-sized area would be completely decimated, and vampire hunters from all nooks and crannies of the boring Midwest would be on their way to get rid of me and save the countryside and all the Wal-Marts and McDonaldses and Crocs retailers therein…along with their patrons, I suppose.
That’s why it’s good that I couldn’t post what I wrote yesterday. I was nice enough that I didn’t use any swears that would potentially offend, but still…on a particularly angry day, I tend to sound just a little too over-the-top and violent, and it’s bad for me to sound that way because I don’t mean it (or, I hope I don’t), but that doesn’t mean that someone, somewhere won’t mistake me and think I’m a homicidal maniac (okay, I promise my post wasn’t that bad, but still!).
Sooo…I guess all I can say is that I’m pretty unhappy right now, and I wish I didn’t get so angry. I know that sometimes it’s without just cause, but lately…I really feel like I have legitimate reasons to be angry with certain people whom I share this house with…but I still feel guilty about getting angry. Shouldn’t I be above all that? My finer sensibilities say I should be. They say lots of things to that effect…
Reeser’s Finer Sensibilities: *polite cough*
Reeser: *pauses amid a roaring inferno, massive bomb in hand*surrounding area is reduced to rubble*
RFS: Could I interrupt you just a moment?
Reeser: *eyes blazing* WHY?
RFS: Well, I think you’re getting a little out of control. We should talk about it.
Reeser: *considers throwing the bomb at RFS, and concludes that this would be like suicide and therefore undesirable* WHAT DO YOU WANT?
RFS: Just sit down by me and we can talk about this. *sits down on a bit of rubble and pats the space beside it*
Reeser: *growls and sits down*continues to clasp the bomb the way a surly child clasps a teddy bear*
RFS: Good, now…Reeser, you’re behaviour is getting rather ugly.
RFS: *sips tea* I think that you need to just think ahead a little bit. I mean, won’t you be at all embarrassed tomorrow, when you think back about how you behaved today? Even if you won’t be embarrassed, I will be. *looks sternly over the edge of the teacup* I won’t tolerate any more of this from you.
Reeser: *thunderous growl*exhales clouds of smoke and sparks*
RFS: I stand by what I said. If you insist on breaking things and burning things down, I can’t stop you…but I’ll never ever let you forget it. Once you’re done raging about, you’ll feel guiltier than you would have imagined possible.
Reeser: *considers, furling and unfurling wings*scowls*
RFS: Oh, yes, I know. *sips tea* I won’t be happy about doing it, but if you won’t stop it this time, at least I’ll be able to use it against you in the future.
RFS: I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing it’s for our own good.
Reeser: *smolders more*props chin in paw*looks sulky*
RFS: That’s a good Reeser. I knew you’d see it my way. *sits back in chair*
Reeser: *surreptitious attempt to light RFS’s garments on fire*
RFS: *smells smoke*douses flame with remaining tea* Reeser! Shame on you!
Reeser: *grumbles*sulk deepens*
RFS: *annoyed* No more of that. Do you hear me? If you don’t just calm down a little, you’ll end up hurting us and that’s what I’m trying to stop happening, you oaf!
And eventually Reeser shrinks back down into a singular, human entity and sits around, sulking and reading a lot to stop from getting all worked up and angry again. And we think up scenarios like this that we can write about and make ourselves seem a little bit crazy, but not so much that it’s inexcusable.
Anyway, yesterday I read a bunch of Charles Simic poems, and finished the entire Paint It Black! book by Voltaire. It had some nifty looking art projects in it…which I would totally attempt if I had my parents permission to use spraypaint and a drill.
Maybe if I can get some materials together, I will talk Chris into doing some art projects with me so we can spend some time not watching television someday… since he always hates my ideas for doing other things…i.e. puzzles, reading a book together, playing board games…maybe if there’s an opportunity to get paint all over and destroy things with my parents’ powertools, he’ll be more inclined to go along with it. Or maybe I will turn into a winged creature of flame (um, did I describe myself as a balrog in that hypotherical conversation with myself?? o.O) and roar at him until he goes along with it.
That would be bad of me though.
Today I’ve made it halfway through a book called Death: A Life, which is supposed to be a humorous, pretend memoir of Death. It amuses me that the author (George Pendel) even made an introduction where he talks about meeting Death and being asked to write his memoir, and how he put underneath the title “with” George Pendel instead of “by”…very amusing. Plus, I have to admit this book would not make as much sense to me if I had never read Paradise Lost.
Hooray for having studied Restoration Literature : /
Anyway…I was trying to upload the audio for the last promo I made for my show, but my internet is being stupid and won’t do it. On the other hand, if you want to listen to said show this Thursday (7-11pm, EST), the webstream should be up again…
I promise I am not a monster on my show. I just talk about them sometimes.
Chris: So, I’m at his web site now. *pause* His name is Ashton Nyte?
Reeser: *warily* Mmhmm.
Chris: Oh, you’re going down, Mr. A. Nyte! *pause* So this is what he looks like?
Reeser: I guess. I have no idea what you’re looking at.
Chris: Found some pictures… How am I supposed to compete with this guy?! He’s beautiful!
Reeser: *bursts out laughing* Aaw, you say such funny things.
(…from back in summer when Chris discovered that he hates my favourite musician. Silly Chris.)