This post is super long. You can blame that on the messed up dream I had the other night. It wasn’t about zombies this time…not exactly, anyway. There were zombies, but there were also witches and talking animals and God.
First off, there was a horse. I don’t remember seeing the horse, but I knew he was there. You know how dreams are like that…you just know stuff. He was a big black draft horse with a big purple blanket and a purple, ribbony bridle…and this horse wanted me to join a cult of witches.
Apparently, I skipped the part of the dream where I was getting orders from Sir Horsey the Purple…and so I found myself sitting in bleachers, watching this weird ceremony that the witches were doing for the people who were joining their little group.
There was this witch lady with long red hair and purple robes, and she was standing on a rock out a little ways into this big pond/small lake deal, and what the new people had to do was swim out to her, and she would make this little mark on your head with some oil and say a little spell, and ta-da! You were in the group.
I can’t swim though, and my dream-self remembered grumbling to the horse about that, and how I couldn’t join the group if I couldn’t swim, so why was I here in the first place? Apparently, Sir Horsey had thought of that though, and made me get a program for the ceremony (they had programs???), where I read that they had a special thing for people who couldn’t swim. We just had to walk out so we were in up to our necks, and that would be good enough.
I didn’t get to that part of the program until they had moved to the next part of the ceremony though, so I went splashing out into the water and everyone was staring at me, and…somehow the witch lady and her little stepping rock were a lot closer to the shore. I was confused though, because she was all wet. If she could move the rock further and closer to the shore, why did she swim out to it? Super confusing dreams…
Anyway, she was really annoyed with me and was hissing at me that everyone was supposed to have come out one after another to get their marks, and why had I waited so long to get in the water and I was messing up the ceremony…blah blah blah. Well, she didn’t even give me the mark anyway. This dude in khakis and an oxford shirt showed up, and he looked normal—like a professor or a pastor or something—but my dream-self knew he was actually the head witch…and he put the little mark on my head instead of the witch lady…and I couldn’t move anymore. Then there was a wave in the pond/lake and I bobbed and I fell backwards, but since I couldn’t move, I almost drowned. I think the head-witch knew I didn’t really believe in witchcraft, so he was trying to kill me.
I wasn’t with the witches at the lake anymore. Instead, I was in this office/classroom looking place, and I guess it was at a hospital because there was this rack of greeting cards, and there were a whole bunch of sympathy and get well cards facing me…the one I remember seeing was green and orange with pink hamsters on it. There was a yellow speech bubble and the biggest hamster was smiling with buck-teeth and saying, “God bless you!” Weird.
Anyway, I was at this table with a bunch of people who looked like college students, and apparently we were reporting to my 10th grade math teacher about the witches and various other cults that we’d infiltrated and were supposed to be keeping an eye on for some reason. And there was this black boy with curly, brownish hair and a yellow t-shirt, and the boy was reading my report to the group. Apparently I’d written that my mom thought I was really a witch now and wasn’t speaking to me anymore. How sad.
Post-apocalyptic world. I was wandering with this huge crowd of people…we walked through empty cities, countrysides, canyons, and as we kept walking, people kept suddenly turning grayish around me and dropping in their tracks. Some people turned grey slower and sort of laid down like they were tired, instead, but I kept walking…and I don’t know if the witches were behind it or not, but I was getting really creeped out. The grey people were starting to draw shiny, green flies.
Eventually, it occurred to me that I should just run to the “hospital” from the last scene, so I turned around and started running, but the grey people were zombies and they started jumping up and chasing me…there was this one girl in particular that I remember. She was wearing a green shirt and grey sports shorts, and she was kind of chubby, with long curly black hair. I’d seen her drop in the canyon, but when I ran past she was drooling and growling at me and her eyes were all bulging and yellow. Kind of creepy, no?
So…I was running and running and I got to the hospital, which was in the side of this green, grassy, tree-dotted mountainside. There was actually a tree growing out of the top of the building. Well, I had a bunch of the grey people after me, and I climbed this tree along with a bunch of other normal people, thinking it was the one above the hospital…but when I got to the top, it wasn’t. I was looking from my tree to the one above the hospital (HUGE trees, btw, not normal ones…think…ents or giant beanstalks or something massive), and the black boy was in that tree. He had a red shirt and was far away, but I “recognized” him, the way one can in dreams. He and the other normal people in his tree were throwing fruit and leaves down to the grey people on the ground…and apparently the tree was one of the trees of life from Revelation 22, where the leaves on the tree can be used to “heal the nations…”
Yeah. Apparently they heal zombies, too.
Then, after the zombies were healed, we climbed out of the trees and the black boy and I went inside the hospital. Apparently…God ran the hospital, and he congratulated us for doing a good job and making sure all the zombies got back to normal.
Now, that God is in my dreams, congratulating me for helping zombies is quite bad enough. It was made that much worse because God kept changing into different lab animals. First, he was a grey and white rat, then he was a brown tabby cat with green eyes, etc…
I swear I am not obsessed with zombies. I haven’t read anything with a zombie in it in months…but they keep coming back in my dreams. It’s really getting on my nerves. Plus now God keeps turning into lab animals and I am getting sent on witch-spying missions by my old math teacher and a black draft horse. Maybe the horse was God, too? No idea…I would say that the horse couldn’t be God because he struck me as kind of sassy, but even if the horse was God, I wouldn’t be the first person in history to dream about God being kind of sassy.
Remember how I said I would mention the story about Cædmon again? Well, here I am, mentioning it. See, in that story, Cædmon didn’t want to sing in front of people because he couldn’t sing very well, and so he left a feast early so he wouldn’t have to sing. After he left the feast, he went to sleep out in the barn, and he dreamed that someone came into the barn and kept pestering him to sing something.
Now, wither Bede (the writer) left this out of the story, or Cædmon just didn’t tell him…but I think that the person who visited Cædmon’s dream was probably God, just because of what the person said. And it had a kind of cheeky, “come on, Cædmon, you can do it!” tone. So…I guess the horse in my dream could be that way and still be God, too. Dreams are that way.
Unlike Cædmon, however, I don’t expect my zombie-handling skills to translate from the dream world and into reality. That would just be weird, and…um…there are no zombies in the first place!
Sorry. I just have bizarro dreams and feel a pressing need to share them with you.
“Love is a special time in the universe, it’s where the male part of the species goes up to the female part of the species and says, ‘Hey! You wanna go on a date?’ and she says, ‘Why yes, I’d love to go on a date’—if you’re lucky! Then you go to the restaurant and she orders a salad and you order a steak…that is what love is to me.”