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I feel pretty bad. Mostly just my throat though. Like, it doesn’t hurt, exactly…but it feels like there’s this thing stuck in it that I’m trying to swallow and can’t, and I detest the feeling of having something stuck in my throat, so I keep trying to not swallow, with the end result that I’m not getting enough fluids in and when I finally do try to swallow again, it feels even worse.

 

And then last night was bad…I woke up a few times with sweat literally dripping off me. Like, I’d sit up to fix my blankets, and then I’d feel it go pouring down my back. It was pretty gross. And when I got up, my hair was all crusty from getting all sweaty and then drying out off and on. Gross gross gross.

 

And I have to work ticket tear from 4-12, and then I can’t go to the doctor until tomorrow. Could time move any more slowly???

 

Ugh. I hate things. Many things. Lots and lots of them.

 

 

But…not unicorns. Or zombies. Which brings me to another important point.

 

 

 zombies vs unicorns

 

 

Apparently, according to Jester, one cannot be on both “team zombie” and “team unicorn.” He seems to be disappointed with my attraction to the unicorns, and now I feel like I need to defend my inability to choose sides between these creatures.

 

A.

I cannot enjoy zombies the way I can enjoy unicorns, because I have been a zombie and I cannot enjoy myself. I can enjoy unicorns, however, because in spite of Jester’s contrary belief, I am not and have never been a unicorn. So while I feel some affinity with the zombie side…I feel appreciation for the unicorn side, and that’s not the same thing.

 

B.

I’ve heard that I will never find a frilly zombie. Apparently this notion comes from the fact that zombies are totally unhygienic and not coordinated enough for things like, oh…the fine art of dancing, and unicorns are sparkly and sweet and probably made of easily crushable origami paper. I here present evidence to the contrary:

 

 

A pink, frilly zombie ballerina:

 

 balletzombie

 

 

A unicorn that will probably eat your soul:

 

 

 black_unicorn

 

 

And now it’s time to go see if my laundry is anything like being close to dry. If not, I’ll be even unhappier than I already am. Rawrrrgh.

 

 

 

 

End.

 

rts

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