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30 Day Challenge


Day 20 — Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future



Ah, of course. Another one of those problematic questions.


You see, I can’t answer things like this because, over the course of my life, I’ve determined that I cannot possibly be sure of anything that involves other people, which is unfortunate, since most things do.


If we look back at last April, and bring into our focus the one tiny person on this planet that was me, we would find that I was still under the impression that I was going to get married this coming fall. We would find that, in spite of that first time where my Wolf lifted his head and bared fangs at someone who was not my family…I was still trying to believe that it was a one-time problem and would go away and I would marry that individual. Of course I would. I’d been engaged for six months, after all. I had already begun forming some ideas as to what I wanted to do and who we needed to talk to in order to start planning…


But then that didn’t end up happening. And I am glad.

I look back on it now, and I cannot comprehend what I thought I was doing. I’ll think back on it and Wolf gets the blank expression on his face that zoo animals get on those occasions where you make eye contact with them and they just look at you for a minute, like “wtf is this thing?”…they don’t understand you and they don’t really care to.



I think that what I’m saying is that…I don’t really have much of a guess at this. I hope that if/when Jesse sees this post, he won’t be offended by it. I love him very much. I have no intention of getting rid of him, and unless I had very good reasons, I think I would probably work harder to keep him than I did my previous relationship…but ultimately, I don’t know that this means very much.

Circumstances change and so do people, and while I might think that I know my own mind, I can’t claim to know much at all about those other two things.



I think that until I reach a very literal point in time where I am exchanging vows with someone, I will probably still retain some doubt as to whether or not I’m going to “marry/be with that person in the future.”



Who knows but that I still have time to be one of those people who lives the majority of life alone.







Day 1 — 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 2 — The meaning behind your user name

Day 3 — Pictures of the 5 strangest things in your room.

Day 4 — A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 5 — A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 6 — Favorite super hero and why

Day 7 — Make a picture of someone you love.

Day 8 — Short term goals for this month and why

Day 9 — Something you’re proud of from the past few days

Day 10 — A picture of yourself.

Day 11 — Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 12 — How you found out about xanga and why you made one

Day 13 — A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14 — A picture of your favourite band.

Day 15 — Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16 — A picture of your favourite animal.

Day 17 — Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18 — Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19 — Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20 — Someone you see yourself marrying/ being with in the future