Whew. Double-shift Sunday is done.
Managed to spend my day with my mind reasonably blank (an incredibly rare thing) and was busy enough to at least prevent me from standing around like a zombie and drooling.
Had my meal break, did the evening shift…this random girl came up and told me about Bin Laden being dead…it’s kind of amazing, that strangers will share important news with me when I’m at work.
Kind of amazing to me that we managed to find Bin laden in the first place. I mean, I’ve only been hearing about how much we wanted to find him since I was a wee freshman in braces and a Catholic school uniform…and now it’s finally happened.
But yes…I was doing pretty well until I was on the way home, and for some reason, instead of hissing a word or two through my teeth, or repeating the same line over and again in my head, my Wolf decided to get very interested in comparing verb forms.
is: singular simple present indicative form of the verb be. unfortunately, it’s indicative of some certainty over a state of being, so, reluctantly, he had to abandon it
might be: decided this form of be, combined with an auxiliary that indicates seeking permission, or acknowledging that something is possible or has potential, is a pansy form that didn’t suit his sense of determination
should be: decided this was kind of accurate, since the auxiliary indicates the subject is likely to do something, or under obligation to do it…but the words seemed too angsty…all dejected or indignant or idealistic at the same time, depending on how it’s said
will be: realized we should’ve skipped the other ones altogether and just gone for this one. presumptuous as it is, it indicates not only the attitude that my Wolf seems to have taken, but because when the be is removed, it also indicates intent and choice and desire, which are all things that Wolf is apparently trying to express…
Bloody verb forms.
I don’t understand why I resort to using things like that to reinforce my obsessing… And, as it would happen, we took a different way home and passed that World Tree as I was thinking on these things.
I can’t wait for it to stop raining. Once everything dries out a bit, I have to find out a way to bribe someone to take me to see it. I have to touch it. The part of me that is a Wolf has been on about it since some time in fall, but every time it’s something else about that blasted tree…I could’ve done with just going and looking at it first, or even just visiting the park it was in, but now I have to touch it. And then maybe this bit of me that is obsessed with symbols and our personal mythology will be satisfied. (But I doubt it, somehow, as I’ll have to prevent him from really taking that blood oath.)
Wouldn’t that be nice if I could stop myself.