Two things. First of which is a little more exciting for me.
I’m trying to get promoted to a supervisory position at the theatre, and I feel like my chances are pretty reasonable…had an interview with the GM on Wednesday, and I think that went well.
As a backup plan, I am also attempting to get training for a projectionist spot…just because I’d like to do something beyond cleaning, cooking, and cashiering. And also because they have opportunities for more hours/more raises than the rest of the film crew.
So my request to all of you is that you cross your fingers, wish me luck, or pray for me that I might have an opportunity to make a small move up in the world. I would appreciate it very, very much.
Second thing, which dismays me a little (and will take longer to tell about), is that it seems to be that time again where I have strange and vivid dreams.
I’d like to think that maybe I’m taking them from Jester so he won’t be bothered by bad dreams for a while, but…when I have these dream issues, they’re not really nightmares. Just very strange dreams.
Last night, I was tired at work…not the mental kind of tired, but the body kind. My legs felt wobbly and hurty and tired, and I was somewhat worried I might collapse if I did not get to sit down soon. And then I was tired when Jester picked me up, and when I finally got home, I read for a while and took a Tylenol PM so that I could be sure I’d stay asleep when I went to bed.
And then I had a dream that I’m not sure how to feel about.
In the dream, there was this big wooden house-like building, but it was like a doll’s house because one outer wall was missing and you could go into or look into all the rooms that way. I was upset because I was trying to tell Jester something, but every time I’d run into him, I’d start talking and his face would change and he’s get this angry gleam in his eye and stalk off. (I have not seen a really angry look on his face in real life…mostly just something about the eyes that changes when he’s getting mad.)
I was pretty upset about this, but I gave up trying to corner him and instead went up into this tree house-looking thing outside, and tried unsuccessfully to build something out of sticks. I kind of wondered if it was just for my benefit that the wall on the building was missing though, because there were lots of people inside, cooking or taking a nap and things, and nobody seemed to think it was weird that a wall was missing (and nobody…er…fell out of the house). I spotted Jester after a little bit, and he was watching tv and looking very sad.
I have no idea what I was trying to talk with him about.
And there I was in my tree house, when my dream shifted focus. I kept hearing this really evil, clattering, shrieking noise though, and people cheering…so I looked out onto this field near the house, but there were lots of trees between me and the field, so I couldn’t quite see what was making the noises. I’d see flashes of fire and smoke and big dark and light shapes whizzing through the trees, but it didn’t make much sense, so I decided to climb down and see what was up.
At some point while I was going back down the tree, I think I changed from the usual me to the me that I have been before in dreams when I am my Wolf. My face felt different and I think my hair was more like it was before I had it cut short.
I was nearly down when I saw the things barreling through the trees toward me. I am fairly certain that they didn’t see me, but they were…idk…scary. These big things that sort of resembled giant horses or rhinos in shape, but which either seemed to be made of dark metal and were billowing black smoke and flames, or were almost skeletons with the wind screaming through their bones.
I almost went back up into the tree house, but instead did one of those things that I seem to do a lot in dreams, and dropped down onto one of the monster things as it ran past. I think the one I was on was more horse-like, and also rather like a locomotive (it had a smokestack), and it was frightening and exciting to ride it…but my dream-self hadn’t counted on there being any other creatures with riders. There was a metal rhino-thing running next to me, and a sort of metal+bone humanoid skeleton on it, trying to reach for me, and when it couldn’t get at me, it tried stabbing at me with what looked like a fire-poker.
We made it out of the trees and to the field at that point, and I jumped off the monster thing and rolled right into this crowd of cheering people.
They were clapping and excited and there was something horrible and trendy and fake about them…they were the kind of young adults and teens that you think of when you think of tanning booths and hair bleach and cheerleading and frat parties and Abercrombie & Fitch. Except that they were spattered with blood and little gobs of meaty-looking I-knew-not-what.
And then I looked back where all the monster creatures had thundered past, and there was a churned up path between some of the trees, and a big section of it was wet with blood and gore and pieces of dead things…and some of the people ran out into the bloody area with pillowcases, and dumped out of it a bunch of dazed birds and a few guinea pigs that all huddled together and didn’t seem to know what to do when the people ran back out of the way.
I didn’t really understand how the monster creatures had disappeared so completely when they ran out into the field, but I couldn’t see or hear them when I looked out, and very suddenly, there was a noise like trains and demons in the trees again, and the creatures careened past us all, the metal ones stamping gleefully on the little animals, and the skeletal ones scooping them up and crushing them in their jaws so that little animal innards were spattered all across their skulls and down their neck vertebrae.
The people cheered again, and I have to admit that as often as there seem to be bizarre blood sacrifices in my dreams, it makes me very uncomfortable when my dream-self realizes what’s happening.
The monsters disappeared into the dark again, and an excited ripple went through the crowd when they brought out the next pillowcases of critters.
That was when I-as-Wolf decided to take action. The ground rumbled as the monsters started back again, and I ran out to the animals. There were a bunch of birds, some very large moths that had already been partially crushed…their wings were all tattered or ripped off…and a large, frightened rabbit and a baby bat. (Not very effectual for feeding giant monsters, but whatev.)
I shooed the birds and they hopped uncertainly before they seemed to get the hint and took off. The moths I figured there was no helping, but I scooped the rabbit up and the baby bat, and ran. All the while, the people were screaming and howling at me, but none of them was brave enough to run out and stop me in case the monsters got there first.
I let the rabbit go near the house with the missing walls, and she ran as fast as she could, away from the path the monsters kept trampling. The baby bat I wasn’t sure what to do with, so I let him cling to my shirt.
A lot of the people kept looking at me, but nobody seemed to know what to do about me. They watched the monsters go past, but didn’t cheer this time, and seemed very scared…but then an excited ripple went through the crowd and someone called that it was okay because they had a bigger animal to make up for me messing things up. I was pretty angry with these people to begin with, but then I heard the crying…and some polo-wearing oaf went out in the path and threw one of our dogs on the ground.
Poor Lemony was crying and crying and crying and just cowering there in the blood puddles, and I ran out and grabbed her, and was glad that I was my Wolf and could move much faster than I know I could in reality. This blonde girl darted out and tried to hit at me and make me drop Lemony (poor baby bat was terrified and squeaking and holding onto my shirt for dear life…), but I guess I am extra-evil in the dream world. I heard the shrieks of the monsters coming around again, and I grabbed the girl’s hair and threw her down in the bloodied dirt and stomped hard on her ankle. I don’t think I saw what happened to her, but there was definitely lots of screaming from the crowd.
And then they were quiet, and some of them were crying…not for the girl who got all mashed up and eaten…but because they were scared that the monsters would come for them if they couldn’t keep up the animal offerings. They were an incredibly passive group, but there were still a couple of them that were sizing me up and probably would have tried to take me down…but this was one of those rare dreams I have where I came out more or less on top. I’d set Lemony down and she was cowering against my legs…and I felt my face changing again. It felt the way that it feels for me in my waking life, when I am made angry, except it was in my skin, too. But they didn’t stop coming at me until the voice came out…and it was my own, but it was the most frightening thing in my dream. It was like thunder ripping through the air, or the tremor you feel in your bones when you are near the amps at a big concert…and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I think I told them they had better just give themselves up to the monsters because I would kill them if I found out they had tried to offer up any more helpless animals.
And that was the end.