Well, I have to open at work at 845, so I really should go to sleep…but in addition to not being tired, I have also got my quarrel with the night sky going on, and the pain in my poor little brains from circling and circling the same thing and not getting anywhere with it, and I’ve had a song in German stuck in my head all day.
And it doesn’t even end there since there are worrisome things being told me, and my allergies are bugging at me pretty consistently these past two weeks, and…I keep wondering if I’m ill, but every time I start to wonder that, I feel better and figure it’s not consistent enough to bother about. Not that I’m really benefiting from feeling dizzy when I’m either sitting or lying down…doesn’t happen when I’m standing, but earlier today when I was at my computer, and last night when I was trying to sleep, I’d close my eyes and feel the room spin around me…it was disturbing.
Anyway, I guess I will go and lie down and try very hard to NOT listen to that song anymore, since I have already listened to it maybe 10-12 times today. And I will go and see HP7 again tomorrow after work. It was a lot to take in the first time around.
And here is a book review, since I hate Twilight.
The Harvard Lampoon
Belle Goose has no intention of living in the back of a car and touring the neighborhoods around Phoenix with her mom and her stepdad’s street hockey team. No, instead she’s exiling herself to Switchblade, WA to live with her window-washing dad and hopefully find a hot vampire classmate who will take her to prom and turn her into one of the beautifully sparkling undead.
Switchblade turns out to be mostly gloomy and its inhabitants mostly either don’t understand Belle or are somehow madly in love with her…but then there’s Edwart. He’s tall and pale and has the inhuman ability to stop old men from selling her Sega games. And he obviously wants to rip out her throat, drink her blood, and possibly make her his vampire mate so that they can spend eternity chasing storms together and exploring the prospects of price elasticity and internet advertising…
Erm. I’m not sure what happened here.
One moment, my sisters were forcing the Twilight series on me, the next, everyone who could read was either in love with Twilight or disgusted with the idea of it, and then…suddenly…I was in a bookstore and saw this. And apparently I bought it. And then I read it, and…I kind of get lost after that.
I mean, wasn’t one of the two books supposed to be funny? That’s what gets me. If the people at Harvard are as bad at writing humor as Stephanie Meyers is at writing vampire fiction, then…well…I don’t know what to think.
Except that maybe the people at Harvard should just let the common people mock Twilight, since I’ve read better Twilight spoofs from highschoolers. Not that Nightlight didn’t have its funny moments. The second half, beginning around when Edwart saves Belle from the Sega vendor, is much better than the whole first half, which is primarily all about Belle having delusion after delusion and also trying to make snow cones by piling snow, food colouring, and sugar into the back of a U-Haul and driving around crazily to mix it up.
Yeeeeeah…for a parody book, Nightlight resembled Twilight a little too much in that I got bored and couldn’t really understand what the point was of half the stuff the writer(s?) decided to tell us. Most of the parts I actually found funny could have occurred in any number of books where they probably would have been better appreciated, but that’s just me.
Okay. Now, let me be more specific about what my problems are with this book.
1. Every humor book I’ve read so far uses the seemingly random things that pop up. Yes, not everything makes sense…but in a bizarrely artful way, the authors manage to make these nonsensical things have some sort of purpose, or at least a short side narrative where the item in question is neatly put away and we don’t have to wonder about it anymore. Like the potted plant that is destroyed in Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy. It doesn’t make sense until later in the series, but eventually we can understand why the plant was thinking, “Oh no, not again.” But in Nightlight, we never find out if Belle ever made those snow cones.
2. I get that this book is a parody, and I get what that means in literature…but the writers weren’t that consistent with it. Now that I’m reflecting on it, I feel like the first half of the book was more about mocking the original story…and by the second half, it had kind of morphed into a completely different story that was only sort of related to Twilight…and the increasing lack of resemblance is probably what made the second half that much better. It would have been better, overall, if they had just started out telling a story that was very loosely rooted in Twilight, instead of telling a crappy parody that evolved into a mildly amusing story about a delusional, vampire-obsessed girl who falls in love with a computer nerd.
3. Minus the jarring SCREAMING IN ALL CAPS, the ending seemed kind of charming. Sure, it was a bizarre kind of charming, but there it was. All the mockery of Twilight suddenly evaporated, which is probably what resulted in my closing the book and wondering, “wth was that?” I have never been more confused by the ending of a book. Not that the ending didn’t make sense. It’s not that. It’s just that it didn’t make sense for the kind of book that Nightlight started out as.
So…overall, I do not recommend this book, whether you loved or hated the original series, or whether you were indifferent to it. If you like humor books, I also do not recommend this one because like me, you’ll be left wondering what exactly just happened in those 150-ish pages, and you won’t be happy about it.
However, if you are in your younger teens, you might be able to enjoy it. You also might like to read this book if you’ve never read any humor books, but suspect you won’t like them if you do. You can read this one and have that suspicion confirmed and then go merrily on with your life.
And that about sums it up this time.