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Worst decision yet: seeing Final Destination 5 after work.


I don’t really get scared of scary movies…and this hardly classifies as a “scary movie”…but it was definitely more gruesome than the first in the series (which is the only one I’d seen). About halfway through I realised I was shaking…wanted to leave and see if I could stop my skin from crawling, and stop feeling sick and shaky and sweaty…but I didn’t because I am an idiot and didn’t want to embarrass myself by walking out past the knot of crew members that would inevitably be by the service desk.


I hate that I forget now and then about how strongly gory movies can affect me.




Still…I’m hoping that maybe it will do me some good and knock my internal Wolf down a few notches again. I mean, I’ve been good for a little while…I haven’t been intentionally mean (STRONG emphasis on intentionally), and I haven’t been intentionally doing any of the self-serving things that characterise this side of me…haven’t been getting blindingly angry and all of that…haven’t had any bizarre dreams…


But then last night happened. And today. And I will tell about them in reverse order. And be very vague about it.



Work was interesting…reading about the situation would be sort of puzzling since I’m not really sure I understand it myself…but what worries me about today is that I’m learning some things about people at work that are making the me that is a monster get a thoughtful look in his eyes and wonder how best to use this information in the future. I don’t like that, but I’ve already started doing it and I’m never sure how to get rid of these things that I store away in this bit of myself.



Rewind now to my dream…

So, I slept about 5 hours last night, and maybe 4 the night before that. I definitely didn’t want to get up this morning. It was one of those days when you wake up and wonder why your bed is never that comfy when you’re trying to fall asleep. But I got up anyway and pondered why the extra comfiness of my bed and my more-than-usual tiredness hadn’t prevented me from having a bizarre dream.


If you’ve just met me, check the dreams tag to see more posts about the kinds of dreams I tend to have…but they include a lot of monsters…things that are part animal skeleton, part locomotive…flying things that look like the nazgul birds in the LOTR films, except somehow insect-like…zombies…Chinese dragons made of white chocolate…giant fungus puffballs…


These things are often trying to eat me (except the nazgul bird, which flew me to the Kremlin instead), and even when they aren’t trying to eat me, I get stuff like talking draft horses telling me they are God and giving me instructions on how to stop the witches, morgues hidden in residential buildings and crammed full of grossly tumorous dead and dying bodies, a giant black squid with glowing blue eyes flying through space on a mission to destroy the Earth, and the Snow Queen trying to capture me so I can’t rescue a Viking-looking Santa Clause from an ice fortress and reclaim my place as the rightful Prince of the Nutcrackers (as weird as it was, that one was still a pretty epic dream).


Clearly, anyone who says that dreams are based on things that happened to us during the course of the day doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about.


But…as much as I enjoy creepy things, and monsters…the ones that show up in my dreams are definitely not the ones I would expect (and in the case of the steam-powered skele-things, I have never come across anything similar to them that I can recall) I have never had a dream about were-creatures, even though I’ve had dreams about evil wolves, and I’ve only dreamt about vampires twice in the past 3+ years, and those dreams were not at the same level of vividness as any of the others I’ve mentioned here.


There was a vampire in my dream last night though, and I was pretty shocked by this. Not only because it was a vampire, but because it was someone close to me.


I don’t really remember most of the beginning of the dream…just that there was a house with rooms that had weird blue cloth-type wallpaper with leafy patterns in it, and I think I saw some faces of people I know from work…and then bam! Vampire.

Apparently Jester is less elusive in the dream world when he is dead, too…which was also unusual, since most of the dreams that he’s found his way into involve me not being able to find him or talk to him for various reasons like, oh…I fell asleep in my dream. There was one dream I found that I posted about that he was in way before we were dating, but I’m not sure how I feel about that dream either, because he was part of an odd assortment of people that my dream self was trying to protect from a demonic wolf that turned out to be me at the end of the dream…it seems a little ominous when I look back on it.

But I didn’t have to hunt him down this time. I was even able to talk to him, and I was not a monster. Jester even looked good as a vampire, even though he’s very not-vampireish in waking life…but then my cat pounced on him and he made the mistake of threatening to eat Deady and my dream turned into me trying to catch a tuxedo kitten that was suddenly the size of a great dane.





Rawrr. Giant kitty face crushes camera phone.