30 Day Challenge
Day 16 — What’s your favourite holiday?
Yes, I enjoy the costumes and the monsters and the bats and black cats and pumpkins and candy and scary movies and all of that nonsense…but I also like that this is such a complex holiday, but manages to not be very attached to a particular religion or nationality.
I think sometimes that this holiday makes me think about myself and my life more than some of the holidays that have “deeper” meanings behind them…and that’s not to say that I don’t think about the people who love me on Valentine’s Day, or about the good things in my life that I am thankful for on Thanksgiving, or about God’s love for me when Christmas and Easter roll around…but Halloween is abstract enough that I feel like I end up thinking about all these things because of it and being glad that there are people who love me even though I don’t give up my monsters and black and all of that when Halloween is over, and I’m thankful that I’ve had such a positive (strange, I know) experience as a Goth, and met some awesome people because of it.
I like thinking about all the things that Halloween brings up about those fine lines between what is good and acceptable, and what is evil. I know some people don’t believe in there being such a thing evil, but I do. And I like to think a lot around this season about what’s going on around us, unseen…
If you haven’t seen me post anything about it (and admittedly, I haven’t in a while), I am a Christian, and you can go ahead and judge me for that as you see fit…but one thing I think about a lot is that this holiday comes up in a season when things are dying (I wouldn’t feel as strongly about this if I lived in the southern hemisphere, I’m sure), and I believe that death is a curse. I wonder at times if this is might account for the uneasy feeling I will get a lot in the fall…like maybe the invisible things that take satisfaction in seeing the effects of a cursed creation are crowding about…but I don’t know.
I don’t know why it happens. In all the other seasons, I feel with acuity that when I am alone, it’s just me…but in fall I get paranoid. When I’m with people I’m okay, but when it’s just me…it’s not just me. I always feel like there’s something else, and that it’s so close I’d see it in the corner of my eye, or bump into it if I took a step back…and I feel like if it was ever something I could see, its smile would turn my bones to water.
So…yeah…I guess I’m a little insane, admitting to you all that I spend this holiday watching scary movies with my sisters and thinking about dressing our beagles as chubby pumpkins, and then when I am online late at night, I’m eating my candy corn and praying that I’ll never ever see what I feel with all my soul is reading the words over my shoulder and grinning.
Don’t judge me too hard.