I’ve gotten boring lately.    I know.

If it helps, I can’t find one of my poems because I don’t remember the title.  And I sent her birthday gift over a week ago, and asked if I might come see them this October. No response. At all.       Now I will probably write a new poem. Except that I didn’t yet finish the cat one. I need to fix it. And find someone to look at it asap.

And work. That, too.
I got screamed at by a guest and almost started crying because I was so enraged at having to sit there and take it. I growled at someone and can’t even remember who. Alyssa and I found balloons and amused ourselves with floating them around the office.

And Jester. He is still my favourite. I think of him often. Very often.          Little hearts start floating around my head, and I am glad nobody else can see them. And then I feel awkward about giving myself that mental image.
Sometimes it still baffles me that I love him. I don’t remember feeling any of this way about the guy I used to be engaged to. It’s fine though. It doesn’t matter.       Just…seeing that I love someone surprises me sometimes.

I wish it were fall.

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