i wish things didn’t happen like this sometimes, where he thinks so hard about something and focuses all that rage onto it…and then a thing happens or changes to that effect. it reinforces too strongly this superstition that he can will things to happen, and it just doesn’t work like that. it doesn’t. i’m ashamed that such a notion has grown such deep roots.

I must be crazy. Even today I got scared that something was wrong with one of our pets, even though it was completely ridiculous for me to worry about. Poor pet’s eyes were closed and it had it’s face submerged in water, not moving. Of course…Smaug is a turtle. A water turtle.
Yes. I was worried that a turtle had fallen asleep and drowned.
A creature who, in the wild, would spend most of his sleeping hours in the water, and spend all winter hibernating in a mudhole or some such thing (I confess my knowledge of turtles is pretty limited). But they probably don’t drown themselves.

i saw a card today that was too perfect to pass up. i’ve all but given up on cards, since i know i could just say things to people myself. or write letters. and i do those things. but this one…i have places where i am unfailingly inarticulate, and there in this folded paper were words i would have said if i could manage to string them together properly. but i never seem to. so i got a card. because it said what i could not.

Today was my day off. I slept for most of it. Fitfully. Kept worrying about Jesse, since he was lost in Wisconsin all last night…and also I kept waking up and thinking I had to go to work. Bah.
I’m glad work the other night wasn’t so tedious. Instead of being shut in a closet where it is center-of-the-sun hot, I alternated between running trays to servers, and joking around with little knots of employees and other management. And even though we were mostly either physically doing work, or within a few steps of each other, the employees working in our theatres are getting pretty creative about how they try to get away with things. Exasperating, I tell you, when you have to make numerous notes on who to write up later for “Mom and Popping” us to get the answers they wanted about breaks and going home early and who is responsable for what…Luke and I started referring to each other as mom and pop and radioing each other every time we got one of those type questions. We think people started catching on that we knew what they were doing. But they’ll probably do it again in the future.

Of course…then I went and did someyhing pretty similar, since I was at work after I was supposed to have left (again), and Luke said I couldn’t go because he can’t do his job efficiently without me. (I doubt it…though that might account for why we have almost identical schedules.) But Tyler was the closing manager, so he had the final say and let me go home. 😛

Welp…I might actually do something Wednesday, which is my nexy day off. No idea what. Maybe go to the zoo again. Idk. Maybe tomorrow I will call Melody, too, since she keeps not answering me about visiting in October, and cutting our conversations off in unlikely spots when I am texting her…we’ll be talking about something, and suddenly she just stops answering me. Very frustrating.  : /