Ate half a box of granola bars. Realised there are 2 days left to Christmas. And also that after sleeping 3.5 hours, then waking up at 630 and still being awake is not the best thing ever.

It’s hard to move now. Like…I feel like I have to really will myself to move. Or think. That I’m writing this is pretty astonishing. To me. But I think in this state I am probably easily astonished.

K already wrote back–also astonishing–and I don’t know if I should be more relieved or more worried. She didn’t tell me off for being foolish…so maybe that is all in my mind. But she did tell me she felt the same way about the movie…upset about it. I’m more than surprised. It seems like such a silly thing…and eleven years is such a long time ago…

They don’t call them formative years for nothing, do they?
I mean, that was where I learned all my habits that make people say unnerving things to me, like that he and I are “practically the same person”.

Well, I should sleep now. I can’t stand to keep moving my fingers any longer.
Maybe I will have more trippy dreams to write about tomorrow. Those are usually interesting.

Especially since my dreams lately are more sensory inclusive, it seems…I was given a hug in my dream yesterday, which is not such a big deal because it was a dull dream…but I could feel this hug. Could feel the person’s bones the way you do in a real hug. It was peculiar. If I start having the dreams about people trying to crucify me or sacrifice my dog to demonic locomotives, or about the girl with the rotted face…the idea of having any sensory details in my dreams gets a lot scarier.

Yeah. This is a boring post. It’s hard to be interesting when you didn’t sleep. But…check out the posts with the dream tags. There are some interesting things in there…