I don’t know what to say. Partly, I watch it happen, with the kind of mild interest you might watch a far-off bird. It’s not important, really. But that’s not what it’s like at all. It isn’t a bird. It’s the empty sounds of a place that is pale and grey and…desolate (I wanted to say stark, but that seems like too startling a word), and there is the dark voice who is mine and familiar, but there is also that other one. I forget him. I always forget, but, white and frail, it’s not my wolf, but this other one who is wailing because of the death that is everywhere. Because of the nothing and the desolation and the impossibility of ever reaching out and touching a single thing except for the asphalt and grey cinder blocks that retain no impressions.

I forgot. How could I? Like I’m not even aware of myself anymore.

Take this vow with me / To stay close, to be near / To be oh, so sincere
Take this vow with me / You of all people must know / There’s nothing left around here

This song made me think of it.

Tomorrow I am picking up my ring.

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