I forgot.

I think that and sort of freeze inside. How could I ever forget something like that? The wanting to be kind and wanting to make things better for anyone at all…

This is why, I think, all of our staff who need to cry and don’t want to do it in front of their coworkers come and sit in the office with me and cry there. I’d rather go cry in the bathroom by myself, but what do I know.

I guess that’s why I started wanting to be kind to begin with. Because I never felt like there was anyone I could go to…

Not that there wasn’t…

People care about me…

But I never want anyone to know. I never want anyone to worry about me or to ask me what’s wrong.
But that’s different. Not everyone has someone who cares. I can’t be everyone’s bff, and I know that…but…people need to talk. Or not talk. More than anything sometimes.

I can do that.

It just bothers me that I forgot that I started out with having made a conscious decision to do so.

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