Today I am feeling much better. My speech capability has been restored, and I slept until 2:15, a fact which I regretted when I looked at the time then, and which I will also regret when I wake up tomorrow morning for work. Despite the cough syrup I took, I am 100% not tired. But then I am accustomed to sleeping for just two or three hours on days when I open.
Ultimately, I would count today as having been a success. Except for my being too late to get Deady a new bag of food. It did not occur to me that the pet store closed at 9, which was the time I was leaving the house. I realised it about halfway there, and I drove the rest of the way just to be sure, then decided to make the best of having gone out without thinking ahead.
The pet store is right near my theatre. So I decided to go see The Purge. It was an interesting movie–not what I had anticipated, but I was somewhat distracted from my movie experience because, before the previews started, there was an exclamation of “oh my gosh!” down at the front of the theatre, and the girl who is 99% me came running up the steps to sit next to me and ask me if I’d seen her run up the steps because she was so excited. (If I had been thinking, I would have enquired which particular thing she was excited about, but I did not.)
In all honestly, I have hoped something like that would happen.
I feel like we all know how improbable it is to actually have the person that you want to befriend but lack the social grace to initiate a friendship with come running up to you like that. It was a little surreal.
Very violent. Very, very much so. I am not going to spoil it for anyone, but I did wonder the whole time why the man that the boy let in the house during the purge (I can tell you that because it was in the preview, right?) was wearing dog tags. To identify himself if he was killed in the purge? Because he was military? There were a lot of unanswered questions regarding that character.
And then it was over. I was hesitant to walk with Toni and the other bussers who sat with us because I am never certain I am meant to be included in something unless I am explicitly told so, and I walked near them through the lobby and down the escalator, but I parked in a different garage from the other two. Toni drifted along with me, but ultimately went to the other garage to wait for her ride. I was a little disappointed. And I went to my car. And I exited the garage. And then the me whose eyes are yellow decided that we were not going to throw away this opportunity, and he took the wheel and drove us to the other garage where he found them and announced that I was stalking them.
That announcement was surprisingly well received, and we spent about a half hour talking about nothing and getting creeped on by someone else in the garage (Tabitha got out her tazer, just to be on the safe side, but he was just waiting for his ride, too). I always have trouble talking to people, socially, but at least they were people I already knew…although I was disconcerted to think that the reason they would stop talking when I talked was because they are used to having to listen to me. Awkward.
At least Tabitha and Dontario make eye contact. Toni and I seem to have an arrangement where we do not look at each other when we are speaking. It is an odd thing to notice, but back when she was new, the manager who hired her told me that A) she was me, and B) she was shy. Being painfully anxious myself (I hesitate to call my problem shyness anymore), I feel seriously compelled to put at ease any new people who seem “shy”…observe their habits so I will know how to react in a way that shows them they should not feel nervous about me. (I swear, for all my bad points, I really do try to be kind to our new people.)
But…I realised that she seemed to always look away when she was talking to me, and because that is my natural reaction when I feel anxious talking to somebody, I felt maybe it would make her more comfortable if I did not look at her. And this is how we operate now. I glance at her sometimes and she is almost never looking at me when she talks to me, even if we are not trying to get work done at the same time. It was funny to observe it in a non-work setting though. Especially after she was so excited. (To see me, I assumed, since I have been off the floor at work for almost two weeks now. But you know what they say about assuming.)
Never has anyone made little squealing, excited sounds upon getting to ride in my car, either.
The person picking her up went to the wrong garage, so I offered to drive her over there, and we discussed whether the company would consider my doing so “hanging out”. Maybe. But given what I know about the rest of management, and who each of them hangs out with, I am not that concerned about it right now. So when she asked me if I minded being a backup ride home for her if she was unable to wake her brother up at 3am, I assured her I would do this. It would be a lie if I said I felt okay about leaving someone stranded at the mall because they were the last employee to leave and their ride never showed up.
We may have exchanged some remarks about needing to hang out sometime. So maybe, maybe, I have the possibility of making a friend, but we’ll see what happens.
I have never been so pleased to fail at getting what I originally went out for.