I suppose I am. Because I am furious with myself, and can’t remember why.
I think I am over-tired. They had me close last night and open this morning, which resulted in my sleeping about three hours…and now I just feel mad and I don’t know why. Except I don’t feel mad. Not a lot. Well. Yeah. It alternates between fuzzy, shivery cold exhaustion and wanting to grab my shoulders and scream at myself for being such a stupid creature and probably crack my skull on something.
I’ll be better tomorrow. Maybe. I mean, I fell down in the hall at work yesterday…so maybe I am not so good. Although. Maybe I am just stupid-clumsy. (But why? I’m not clumsy…) Enough that in reaching for a bit of crumpled paper, I just…kept going, and in my mind I was like “oh gosh…ohgoshohgosh!” and I fell. And then I sat myself up and was like, “huh. Well. That just happened.”
My manager gave me a funny look and asked if I was messing around. No, sir. I assure you…that fall was so graceful that it possessed the appearance of having occurred by design, but I 100% did not mean to be lying on the floor like that. (And now I have a specific reason to want to punch myself. Namely, the grammatical structure of that sentence–it’s abominable,)
Not that I’ve been completely idiotic lately. I mean, I fashioned lightning bolts for one of the other supervisors, Raquel, to use in her Thor-themed display for the specialty drink at our bar.
I sort of fashioned them. Out of the shapes function in Word, because she couldn’t figure out how to find some easy-to-print lightning bolts. (I feel like a nerd for knowing that it’s easier to get lightning bolts from MS Office than from the internet.)
She drew about a hundred little raindrops, too, that she ended up not using. I tried to warn her that they’d be too much of a hassle, but that didn’t go so well…for someone who is gang-pressing me into being her at-work “bestie”, she doesn’t like to listen to me very much, even if her sarcasm rivals my own. 😛
Me: What if you did a handful of larger raindrops instead. They’d be more visible at a distance…
Raquel: That’s dumb.
Me: My idea is dumb?
Raquel: Mm. That’s what I said.
Me: Oh. Now my feelings are hurt.
Raquel: Ugh. Go away.
Me: What? I thought I was being forced to be your bestie. Now you just want me to leave?
Raquel: That’s what I said.
Me: See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes people turn bad. Ridicule…rejection…but it’s alright. I’ll just go stew about it in the checkout room. Maybe cry a little. Maybe plot some revenge–
Raquel: Calm the fuck down, Loki!
Me: *shocked face*
Raquel: Just kidding, bestie. Erm…can you put up the poster?
Me: Ah. I see. My evil genius is needed after all…
Anyway. I think I must sleep now.
I’m getting to the stage of tiredness where I feel compelled to keep eating things to stay awake…