I’ve read that dreams are good for you. As nonsensical as they are, supposedly, according to some scholars or other, they mean that you are getting enough of a certain kind of sleep, and they may signify not only that you are getting enough rest, but they may contribute to your mental health and stability in ways as yet not fully understood.
So, paranoid as I am, I worry when I stop dreaming for a long time.
And then I start to dream again and worry for very different reasons.
I’ve had some memorable dreams the last few nights…here are some synopses of them.
1) I dreamt I was at a broken-down, stone church. It was surrounded by a graveyard, as some very old churches are. In this graveyard were a bunch of boys chasing a very small rabbit and hitting it with wooden staffs. Poor bunny!
Naturally, I had to save it. So I ran around after it as well, and eventually caught it. Bunny was so tiny, it fit in the palm of my hand.
But, as things often do in my dreams, it did not stay cute. Instead, it turned over in my hand and chomped down on my finger in the manner of Monty Python’s killer rabbit… dislike.
2) Then I dreamt that I was at work. I often dream that. And we were in the upstairs office, and not wearing our normal uniforms…and Alyssa, the girl who used to be the other administrative supervisor, had told our GM something that I had supposedly done, but it wasn’t true. I don’t know if I ever actually knew what it was, but it was bad.
And our GM had called me up to talk to me, and I was waiting for him and watching Alyssa do paperwork things. I think I tried to talk to her and ask her to straighten things out and tell the GM that I hadn’t actually done this terrible thing…but she ignored me completely and walked out of the office with a giant smile on her face.
And finally Tim came out into the office. And fired me. And subsequently turned into a giant blue monster like the Beast in X-Men.
And he killed and ate me. Dislike.
3) Aaand…then I had one of those creepy, creepy dreams where my physical character and my consciousness are separated.
To start with, there were two little boys on a train. Except, this train ran on tracks that were just beneath the top of the sea, so that the train itself seemed to roll along the tops of the relatively small waves.
The little boys were brothers, and they were trailing little plastic boats out of the last car on the train…a blue one and a teal one. The teal one belonged to the boy that my dream-consciousness eventually floated into, so that I was viewing everything through his eyes. He wasn’t aware of me like other characters have been when my dream-mind floats into them. But I wasn’t actively trying to possess him, either.
The little boy was in a wheelchair, and I felt a little sad for him because he seemed like a nice little boy…and as the train chugged along, his brother started picking on him and bumping his wheelchair on the railing that kept them from falling overboard, and eventually the wheelchaired boy dropped the line for his boat and there was nothing we could do but watch it bob in the waves as the train swept away.
Eventually, we got to where we were going. I don’t remember seeing the boys’ parents, but a conductor who was actually one of the diswashers at the theatre helped us get our things and get off the train.
And then we were in this little place outside, with little park benches and rosebushes. The boys were waiting for their parents, and the mean brother started picking on the boy in the wheelchair again. I can’t remember what he was saying, but the wheelchair boy was starting to cry, and it was very distressing because not only could he do nothing to stop the brother, but there was nothing I could do either.
And then a character stepped through the rosebushes behind the brother. He…changed…like…a shape-shifting. From a vaguely-familiar looking man to a dark-haired woman in a flowered dress. But I had seen him, and I knew who he was because he is the character I possessed in a past dream for the sole reason of using his shape-changing ability.
The brother didn’t see this person, but when this person looked at at the boy in the wheelchair, he saw me. He knew I was there, just like he had known I was possessing him in my other dream.
And the little boy whose eyes I was viewing the world through? I could feel his confusion. I remembered that other character, and he sensed my remembering and didn’t understand why he thought the person behind his brother was familiar.
The brother saw me/the boy looking at something behind him, and turned around. He started to ask who the person was, and as he did, this other character pointed the handle end of an umbrella (it had been something else before he shape-changed, but I forget what) at him, and there was a flash of light, and suddenly the brother was on the ground, convulsing.
I/he knew we should get our parents, or call for help, or something…but we did not. We looked at the other character, and had a sort of…understanding between the three of us. I understood that there was something of a sympathy between he and the boy…the boy felt afraid and guilty and…mostly an overwhelming gratitude that his brother could never hurt him again (I had a sense maybe the brother has caused whatever injury restricted him to the wheelchair, but I don’t know).
There was a much more complicated feeling between this shape-changer and myself. I could feel that he was afraid of my ability to possess or to be present in another character’s consciousness…and I likewise felt somewhat threatened by him. Like…he looked at the boy for a long time, and was not really looking at him. Just at me. Because he wanted me to know he had harmed the wheelchair boy’s brother not so much to help the boy as to demonstrate what he would do to me if he encountered me in a less pitiable form.
I think he’s taken my possession of him rather more personally than he should.
And with that said, the dreams where the characters know about me as an outsider are vastly more terrifying than any dreams I’ve had with monsters trying to eat me.
I mean…who has dreams with such fucked-up details and scenarios as this? And also…..who has dreams wherein other characters who are NOT real people seem to be conscious of the fact that unnatural, dreamlike things are happening? Or…who else has dreams wherein other characters not only remember scenarios from past dreams you have had, but have formed their own interpretations of what has “happened” in the dream world, and are acting accordingly?
I just don’t know sometimes.
(Ah. Took me a minute to find it, but this was the original dream I had involving this character.)