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Feeling good. Lots of little things to be pleased about…or at least to turn over in my mind, which I find enjoyable (mostly).

a) Have apparently lost more weight. While I was in college, I never got more than 13lbs over my weight when I graduated high school, but…somehow I’ve made it back down to that same number. Probably all that exhausting stair-climbing. On the down side…I just bought two pairs of jeans to replace some of my old ones that were getting holes in the knees…and now I am in need of a belt. Bah.

b) Discovered I had enough similarly-themed songs to make a playlist about horses & rainbows. Somehow the combination of iridescent synth-pop and sweeping power metal put me in a much better mood than I would have expected. I was in such a good mood at work today…it was stupid.
And to top that one off, I have also reached a point where I am no longer embarrassed to confess to liking this music. 😛

c) I watched The Fellowship of The Ring last night. Of course, I wound up not going to bed until after 6am, but still…those movies are wonderful. I haven’t watched them in a good long while. But…I feel sad about my LOTR friends. Still. I still feel sad about that. Enough that I cried a few little tears at the end. Because of her…and how much I loved her, and how long. And all of that is pretty much gone and has been for so long, without hope of recovery…
Sometimes I miss it more than I can express.

d) My sister and I are thinking about taking up fencing. We will probably kill each other, but it might be fun, right?

e) I’ve discovered that, no matter what the song’s actual topic is, if it has a harpsichord and tubular bells or hand bells in it, I am hard-pressed to NOT think of it as a Christmas song… I somehow wasn’t paying attention, and added some death-themed songs to my Christmas music. Whoops.

f) It is happening again. My siblings, my friends, my workmates…they periodically liken me to characters in books they’ve read or movies we’ve had out, and it is maddening to me. I mean, I won’t lie–I like to get a better sense of how people see me, and being cast as this or that character is helpful…but…yesterday, my sisters were even going over some of the characters they’ve likened me to…Professor Snape, Magnus Bane…Squidward…and I was thinking about characters I’ve been likened to at work…Snape (again), Spock…and currently, Loki.

I never get cast as a female character. Not ever.
It used to disturb me deeply, but now…I don’t know. I suppose I have no choice but to concede that my overall personality is masculine. And unrelatable, apparently, since not one of those characters is particularly likable (or, rather…you are not supposed to like them).

Not really feeling as good about that last letter…but…it is a source of never-ending speculation for me, this whole casting of me by other people as a not-fully integrated or an outrightly excluded masculine character…

After so many years of being assigned to characters like that, shall I assume at last that is who I am?

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