This is absurd.
The weightiest reason I have for classifying myself as obsessive compulsive is not any of the counting and categorizing or the orderliness or cleanliness or little rituals I have where things must be done just so…because there are times when I can brush those compulsions aside and they mean nothing to me.
But the obsessive thought processes. Omg.
I can’t stop myself. Ever. Ever ever ever. I just get stuck. And there I am. Until it lets go of me.
I can’t finish this book of short stories, for instance. Because I am obsessing over them. I am replaying the stories in my mind again and again to no end. And the notes. Because it has notes. Those little numbered ones with explanations in the back of the book.
I couldn’t even tell you why I’m thinking like this. No logical reasons at all. None. Just…I can’t do anything to deter myself. I mean, is it awesome? Well. Not as such. It’s pretty great, but not awesome.
Ugh. I like at least having a hint at why I do these things sometimes, but I’ve got nothing whatsoever.