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More dreams that I can’t recall details of…making me irritable.

My back has been hurting a lot lately, which I think is one reason I have not slept well. Then, on the way home from work, I kept feeling spasms in my back. I am not prone to those like some people are, so hopefully they won’t add to the list of things annoying me right now…we’ll see.

Melody called me and of course I was at work. I felt a little better though, since she at least tried to get back to me after never responding at all to my text yesterday…
Maybe we will talk after she’s off work Tuesday. Haven’t talked (like…with voices) to her in…months and months. Since I never called her after K told me I should, and she hasn’t called me either…but…we text each other some. Mostly I just leave all kinds of sarcastic comments on stuff she puts on facebook, just because her responses amuse me. (Wow. I am kind of a troll, I guess. She still seems to like me though.)

And…I am pretty sure I wouldn’t even notice if it weren’t for the fact that I have FB notify me every time she posts (a point I will elaborate on below)…but…I have been unable to avoid noticing another individual who keeps doing basically what I am doing. Except that the things they are posting are not like what I’m doing. Not friendly-snarky. They’re…I don’t know. They’re just…too much. Too trying too hard. Enough that I can tell.

I feel compelled to ask about this person. And to punch myself repeatedly. There is no reason whatsoever for me to feel such animosity. Towards a friendly person.

Jealousy is a bizarre emotion, to be sure.

But, back to what I said a few paragraphs up: I have set up my facebook to notify me every time my sister, my mom, my fiancé, Melody, K, or Toni posts. Because I just want to know. I mean…most of the people who show up in my facespace are acquaintances, and I care moderately about what they are doing. But I care about my family. And my Jester. And my three friends–two of whom don’t post very often anyway, and whose posts I would likely miss in the deluge of posts from everyone else who I don’t care as much about.

My fiancé and my sister said that’s creepy. Is it? I mean…their FB’s are public. Anyone can see what they post. I just want to make sure I don’t miss things that might be important. Is that creepy? I don’t think it is. I think it’s just one more way of staying in tune with people I care about and who don’t always share their thoughts directly with me, but who are okay with sharing thoughts with 1000+ of their closest friends.

I don’t know.
I think the only one it’s worked out with is Melody, since two of the people I get these notifications from think I’m creepy and my mom, K, and Toni don’t post often enough to care if I’m doing that or not.

That’s one of the best qualities someone close to me can have: to know me, and still not think I’m creepy. It warms my tiny black heart. ❤

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