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I am giving the universe some very appraising looks, lately. Not that it isn’t still fun sometimes…but I can only stand to be messed with so much at a time. And…as subtle as it’s been, it’s still too much. Enough to make me wonder about its reasons for orchestrating all this nonsense…because my Wolf keeps looking at it, the way your dog or cat will look into an empty part of the room, and you see them expressing a very high level of interest in…nothing? You don’t see it.

But my wolf does. He’s not talking to me about it though, so maybe it will go away…they usually do…but they usually do something to us first.

Do other people live that way? Waiting for their next idea to overpower their entire outlook and make noticeable changes? Because that happens to me…again and again and again without end.

And then there are the things that do not change…like my continual looking back at this message and feeling the stab of the tiniest ray of sunshine at its indication that I am still possessed. There aren’t even words anymore to convey my conflicted receipt of this stabbing light. I want it. But I want to not want it. But I want to not have to want to not want it. And on without end.

But. Music. Because I said I would give you that.

The Last Winged Unicorn by Rhapsody

Because one day, I got it into my head that there must surely be songs on iTunes that are about unicorns. And there are.

I don’t like power metal, but this song makes me smile because, in the words of the first person to comment on this video, this band’s music is “the art of making the stupidest lyrics sounds like the epicest thing ever”. (Her spelling, not mine.)

And it does sound epic, and the scenes rolling across my mental landscapes are fine by me…because despite the Cthulhus and Sleipnirs and even the Daleks (which I had a nightmare about, but not one worth telling) that moved into my mental landscape as an adult…there were unicorns first (and before them, wolves. there were always wolves), and they still have a place for me.

Because how can you turn down the idea of a creature that embodies the ideals of purity and nobility, but can still stab you with its face? (Maybe I just have simple tastes?) At any rate, the songs is pretty dark stuff despite the unicorn…princesses being raped and killed by goblins or devils or some such thing, and then what seems like an escape to the afterlife with the unicorn.