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Ha. My Jester did not believe that my paranoia two posts ago was still about that watch.

Of course it is. Because I am paranoid when I have interests that I have no source for. No root cause. At least not one that comes quickly to mind.

And today I sufficiently embarrassed myself about it, because I still keep going to look at it. You know. Waiting patiently.

And I noticed today that the site tracks the number of times an item has been viewed. And that, given the very few times it had been viewed when I bought it…most of the views listed are probably me. Still a low number…but I should probably stop. Really. I should. (And I almost regret it, but I did email to ask if there was a story that goes with the watch. Because I am genuinely curious.)

But, like I said: no root cause exists to explain my interests in this direction. Books, maybe? I can usually blame them for lots of things. Except that it isn’t books. Can’t be. Because I don’t have a recollection of the interest coming after said books, but before. (It is funny though, how many things I am remembering about a girl named Katy that I was friends with when I was 11-16. For all her obnoxious behaviours, she was fairly quick to notice things that interested me…I am pretty sure she is the one who bought me the books I am thinking of.)

That doesn’t get me anywhere though, thinking of that. Partly because the story of our being friends ended badly, and that depresses me. I like to not think of it.

Yeah. I will need to think on this some more–and I will, you know–but now I must go to sleep. Not before giving you a song though.

Still Life by The Horrors

This band has some nice songs. This is not my favourite one by them, but probably the one that best blends my friend Toni’s shoegazing music with my goth rock preferences.

And not all of their music even sounds like this. They’ve got some that’s more punk sounding…and this stuff. And stuff like this is great when I am feeling especially depressed or murderous. I had a whole playlist built around this style of song…a sort of emotional white noise to help me feel calm.
And that’s not to say the music is background noise…but it did take me a while to pick up on the content though, because of that. About being patient and waiting for perfect moments to happen, because they will…and you can’t make them happen…you just have to wait and be prepared for when they appear.

I am not very good at it, but that is a nice sentiment.