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This is the worst I have felt in a long time.

I got home from work at 5am, and then slept. I think I woke up around noon, and went right back to sleep. And then I have a vague memory of waking up around 230, and reading a few pages…and I think I meant to get up, but I fell asleep again and woke up at 530pm.

Decided I should try and get out of bed because I needed gas to get to work tomorrow morning…it was the worst. That kind of sick where you cannot think a coherent thought and feel like you cannot control your limbs and make them move…
Eventually I got showered and made it downstairs to eat some food. Went out and put gas in the car and hated that I lost the gloves I’d been using…because, yes, they were fingerless, but at least they were wool, and retained some heat. The ones I have been using now were my aunt’s, and they’re leather…but they don’t hold in heat. And there’s also the discomfort I feel at wearing my dead relative’s gloves…but that is a thought for another post on another day.

I will say this about being sick though: it really does give me some interesting dreams.

This time, about crashing a carriage, and then trying to get my horse free and the horse (maybe it was a pony, because it was kind of short…that or I was a very tall person in this dream) was doing its very best to bite me and be a nuisance…
And then there was the road…which I thought was outside, and it was very dark…but then somehow the road was a hallway and the gas streetlights became dim lamps set into walls inside a…palace? I don’t know. There was a lot of scrollwork around the doorways and windows.

And shadowy people in a room that we eventually wandered into. They looked like they were waiting on us, but my horse was not having any of that, and he bolted back the way we’d come, and the hallway turned back into a road and there were trees and gas streetlights again…and I turned to see where we’d left and my dream was like, “but…but, you like coming here, right?”


No. No, dream world. Out of all the places real or imagined that I could go, I do not know why you bring me here from time to time. Must be the swirly towers? No idea why my subconscious sometimes thinks this is the place to be.

Anyway. I am going to go back to bed now so I can get up at 530am and go back to work (and hopefully leave when the next manager arrives around noon, because I am unfit for society in my present state), so here is a song.

To Die Among Strangers by Rome

I think…when I listen to his songs, I get the sensation of going someplace. Like…I am not sure how to explain. But it’s a good sensation.

I’ve tried to look for a picture to illustrate it, but I cannot find one…but for this particular song, there is a portion of my trip to work that I like to come to when this is playing…because the highway curves up and around, and the buildings and trees drop away and give you a good view of the sky for a few miles…and when it’s been rainy, or now that it is winter and I come to that place when the sun is fading…it can be a pretty dramatic sight.

And I am admittedly a sucker for those moments where things in real life seem to validate these pointless, sweeping feelings that I often have.