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About a third of the way through the last GoT book…

I keep going back and forth about this whole series. On the one hand, it’s long. So long. Tediously long. On the other hand, it’s such a good series. The details are good, and the characters, and the way it’s been built over so many sources… when I am not groaning inside because I feel like I will never make it to the end, I am in awe because of how much is in these books.

That said, I have some questions, now that I’ve had a chance to notice things that I missed on my first reading…

You can skip them if you’re afraid of spoilers (who am I kidding? nobody reading this blog is worried about that), and read a dumb conversation I had at work instead.

1. Over the course of the series, Sansa keeps thinking about the last time she saw the Hound, and her memory of that encounter is very different from what happened. Why? GRR Martin…why you do this?

2. The battle at the wall: that lasts days and days, and the bodies are not collected and burnt every night–why do they not rise right away again as wights? That seems arbitrary…

3. There are a lot of places we’ve heard about again and again, but haven’t seen yet. Why? Why have we heard again and again about Lannisport and Casterly Rock, but not a single one of the dozens of characters we’ve followed has been there yet. Seems about time someone visited there…it’s the only one of the seven kingdoms that we have never seen. Also: Valyria. Come on. You can’t just tell us it’s covered in demons and ruins and never take us there to see for ourselves.

4. Coldhands: what is the deal with this character? What is he? A dead man, yes…but why? And why in general, about all the undead…? Lady Stark, Beric Dondarrion, the stone men…? What is going on here? Once was okay. Twice was…okay…but come on. Dead seems to mean dead most of the time in GoT, so what is all this nonsense?

5. Where are Rickon and Osha?

6. The mythical creatures…so…we’ve seen wights (zombies), dragons, manticores, giants…why no unicorns? The characters seem to believe they exist, when they’re spoken about. The only reason we seem to have not seen one is that they live on an island where the human inhabitants are supposed to be cannibals. That sounds exciting. I want to visit this island that has unicorns and cannibalism. That would be cruel to mention such a place and never let us visit it or see a unicorn.

Anyway, those are my most pressing questions about GoT so far. Things I think about while we all wait patiently for GRR to finish the next book…and hope that he isn’t influenced by wherever the TV show goes, since they’re forging ahead without him.

Here is some dumb stuff from work.

Me: I had some fish in a tank once. They killed each other.
Paris: A tank?! Like…a rumble-rumble boom tank?
Me: What the hell? *cracking up* A what kind of tank?
Paris: You know. Like with a cannon.
Me: *laughing*
Paris: …I realize now how stupid that question was.