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For a very long time, years of my life have either been exciting and filled with good things, or just been downright rotten–one awful thing hot on the heels of the last.

This year so far has been like the latter.

Deady went back to the vet to check on whether the antibiotic was working, but he peed in the kennel on the way there, and they couldn’t get a sample to culture. So they decided to do another ultrasound to see if his bladder was still inflamed, since that would give them some idea of what was going on, too.

The bladder is less inflamed, so that’s good. But they found 3 kidney stones.

So, now we know for sure what the problem was to begin with. Unfortunately, he’s so tiny and the stones are so big that he will need surgery. Expensive surgery.

The good thing is that I can afford it. But that only further depletes my savings that were intended for the wedding…and I am never probably going to be able to recover that since I am still trying to recover from when I had to buy a new car, and I am only barely saving $100 a month because of my commute and because of trying to help Jester pay his rent and because my damned health insurance is so high and because of my student loans…and I STILL don’t know if my car insurance is going to pay the bill for my ambulance transport from the accident. (And this is just looking at it from a financial standpoint…nevermind that I am upset and worried about my ki-cat’s health -_-)

I’m so frustrated. Can’t bloody win. Everything since Jester’s job situation changed has just been more and more of things being bad.

My patience is being sorely tried…as hard as I am trying to just accept that these things happen and there’s nothing one can do but take it…I’m really angry that it JUST KEEPS HAPPENING. I just want to get back to where I was, and everything that happens keeps stopping me and pissing me off.

But what can I do? Nothing.
Just take it.
Just let it happen because there’s nothing I can do.
Nothing at all.

…I am so frustrated.