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This has been a crap day.

Slept really poorly, then didn’t want to wake up. One of the dogs was being ridiculous and sliced my finger open with one of their chew bones. Blood everywhere. Blood that I wasn’t prepared for. Narrowly missed either fainting or vomiting. Forced myself to make and eat some food anyway (and have felt like crap ever since).

On the way to work, car starts making a noise. A bad noise. I don’t know why. Got to work late. Oil light comes on when I park. But…I had my oil changed less than a week ago, so that shouldn’t be happening, right? Boss excuses my lateness and helps me figure out how to unlatch the hood on this car and check the oil…there is NO OIL in my car. WTF.
Spend the first half hour at work making arrangements with my parents, my fiancé, the tow company, and the shop that we usually go to for car repairs. Grr.

Theatre buddy is being really sad. He says he’s not allowed to talk about it. We talk about it later anyway because…a thing happened that shouldn’t be a thing at all, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. I’m not sure, either. And I am angry, because it happened as a direct result of his following my instructions.
I’ve learned a valuable lesson, I think. I think I shall have to use what I know now to keep these things from happening again (and, I hope, to either reform or get rid of the source of the trouble).

*sigh*
Also, my computer is pissing me off. Over the last few days it’s gotten really loud and slow…running a virus scan right now, but so far it’s turned up nothing. Still, it’s a nice finishing touch to a day filled with all my favourite things: illness, large and unexpected expenses, and drama.

Song 23:
My Saviour (Blutengel)

Okay. Not embarrassed about this one. Yay.

Also, this is probably the closest we’ve gotten so far to the sort of dance sounding Goth-type stuff that I still listen to most often (despite my affinity for the Red Army Choir, of course).

“I try to close my eyes, and I lay myself to sleep/I wish that I could sleep forever, touched by the hand of death” <—– This song also has some of my favourite lines for when I am driving home after working one of those 16 hour shifts.
I laugh every time: “me too, friend. Me too.”

I don’t know what it is about some of these songs, but they have been really harsh to me this year about myself. Because while this one wasn’t musically sad like #25, it was like sections had been lifted out of things that were actually being said to me by someone, and that was upsetting.

Still…the bit about sleep. Heehee.

I should do that now, btw. Sleep…
Maybe I’ll feel better tomorrow.

____________________________

Previous #23 Songs

2014: After the Devil Beats His Wife (Emery)
2013: Sentence Me (Soil & Eclipse)
2012: A Legacy of Unrest (Rome)
2011: Midnight (The Birthday Massacre)

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