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Here is a thing that I sometimes come back to when I’ve run out of things to ponder (or everything else on my mental table is too depressing):

How do people picture me online?

Sure, I know people from the internets who have seen me in real life, and with whom I have been friends for half my life as of next month…but they never saw a picture of me before I went to meet them, and only one of them had sent me her photo, so meeting was…strange…like, we met through a Lord of The Rings role-playing chat, so to start with we weren’t even trying to be ourselves when we met. And then that carried over to one-on-one conversations where some of the ones I remember best still didn’t have a semblance of reality (as far as appearances)…because we liked pretending too much. And that carried over into our real-life meetings, too…where Melody and I had known each other for maybe 10 years before we quietly let die the joke about my being her fake brother…

It made me indescribably sad, that. Stupid as it was.

But, back to my original question: for the people whom I haven’t known as long, and who aren’t friends of friends on facebook or something where my real face is an unavoidable fact…what do they see when they try to imagine the person writing these posts?

I don’t know. I mean, maybe they don’t wonder about that. What do I know?
But…I don’t have any pictures here to go off, so it’s something to wonder about…my being faceless.

I’ve always been wary about posting my image anywhere though. I mean, the only reason my face is even on facebook is because my sister kept posting pictures with me and, after a while, I finally gave up trying to stop my family because they do what they want. *shrug*

I’ve described myself occasionally, I suppose.
The stupidness about my siblings picking on me for being the only one of the four of us who has dark hair and eyes, and about their mean-spirited joking about my being adopted (I’m not) is pretty well documented here.
I think I’ve mentioned things about my being physically small and non-threatening, and how that’s probably to the advantage of the world because of that Wolf personality who lives inside me…

But what does that add up to, really? It’s not a lot of description to go on. I mean…I could be almost anyone.

What an interesting thought.

It just makes me more wary about ever posting a face, I guess. Because being a faceless mystery is probably more to my advantage than showing my face and realizing what a disappointment it is.

…just…things I sometimes wonder about.

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