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Because I am so awesome, I mashed my foot with a giant metal door.

See…being too awesome gives you this feeling of superiority…and after a while, you start to overreach your actual levels of awesome because you just can’t face the idea of being confined by trivial notions like biology or physics…

So, here’s the truth: I probably am not faster than a speeding bullet. Nor am I more powerful than a locomotive. *sad face*

But yeah…Saturday night, I didn’t schedule enough people to be working after 10pm, which was foolish of me. I know that on a night where most of our auditoriums have a show starting during the 7 o’clock hour, those same ones will probably be starting again during the 10 o’clock. I know that. But I didn’t plan accordingly when I wrote the crew schedule.

So Thabet and I were trying to hurry up and close some cash drawers, and put a deposit together…but they needed us on the floor, and there wasn’t another manager available, so we planned that he’d go to the concession stand and I’d go help clean theatres…and I wasn’t so enthusiastic about helping the crew that I was going to neglect procedure…one mustn’t leave the giant floor safe open while unattended (even though it’s behind multiple other layers of security). Unfortunately, I was too enthusiastic about multi-tasking, and I tried to understand the crew’s radio chatter and answer Thabet’s important question, and swing the heavy door shut at the same time…and in the jumble, the signal from my brain to my foot, telling it to move out of the way of the door, didn’t get sent.

That door has maybe an inch of clearance from the floor, and that’s not enough room for my foot inside my work shoe, with it’s thick, slip-resistant sole. So of course I closed the door hard enough to scrape over all of my smaller toes, before getting stuck at the big one.

Good god, it hurt.
Naturally, Thabet had his back turned when I did this, so then I also had to explain why I was sitting on the floor with my eyes watering…

I was horrified by the possibility of having really mangled my toes, so I decided the best way to solve this new and painful problem was to just hobble out onto the floor and pretend it hadn’t happened–it could be dealt with once business dropped off, right?
It was pretty bad though. Worse than I thought at first, as after the initial pain, my foot got all cold and tingly, and then it felt like it was on fire…and squishy. When I’d take a step, there was a weird sensation that I can only describe as squishy. I couldn’t move fast enough to be useful anywhere else, so we ended up shuffling some crew around so that I could just tear tickets until things settled. Humiliating, for sure.

I finally got the nerve to see how bad it was after we closed (you know, an hour and a half later), and most of the top of my foot was red, and the big toe and the one next to it looked puffy. The nail on my big toe is cracked, too, which is what I’m most concerned about. The crack isn’t all the way through, and it’s across instead of up and down…but it’s still pretty far down on the nail, and has a bloody mark underneath.

The toes were still a little puffy today, but they don’t hurt very much. I’ll be surprised if a bruise doesn’t appear soon.

So I filled out my incident report and continued closing as normal…except that instead of listening to Pandora or trying to outdo each other with increasingly disturbing suicide songs, Thabet discovered the pilot episode of a pretty outrageous show titled “Heil Honey I’m Home!”…so because we are not decent people, we played that in the background instead.

Not that I’m ungrateful for this bizarre effort to cheer me up. Especially since I was so upset about what I’d done that I even called my mom to warn her in advance that I might be waking her up when I got home at 330am because I wasn’t sure how bad my foot would be looking after a few more hours. (I didn’t end up doing that.)

So much fuss over what turned out to be (and hopefully stays) nothing.
Lesson to take away: I’m awesome, but not that awesome.