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Thabet: Yeah, Satan and I were Facebook official for a while.
Me: Ha!
Thabet: No, wait! Ugh, I don’t know why I just said that! *to the heavens* I’d like to retract that statement.
Me: You do just kind of blurt stuff out, don’t you?
Thabet: *ashamed* Yeah…
Me: I can say something worse.
Thabet: Oh yeah?
Me: Absolutely. About juice.
Thabet: Juice?
Me: Let’s say it’s orange.
Thabet: Okay, sure. Orange juice.
Me: Ask me if it’s fresh.
Thabet: Is this orange juice fresh squeezed?
Me: Psh, no. *fake German accent* We prefer our juice concentrated.
Thabet: Wha–OH! Jews!
Me: Yep. Definitely going to hell.
Thabet: I think you just earned a fast pass.
Me: Wow, thanks.
Thabet: Der Führer would be proud.
Me: Think maybe I could get a heil five?
Thabet: Ha!

In other news: at this time next week, I’ll be married. How weird is that?