, , , , ,

My Wolf and I are feeling pretty stabby.

Not for the reason everyone else is being stabby or sad on the internetz these past few days, but…I don’t think they’re entirely unrelated.

Partly, I am upset at the people at the supermarket who can’t put their damned shopping carts in the cart corral. I usually park in a section of the lot that is right beside a cart corral, but EVERY TIME I go, there are 2-5 carts roaming freely in the parking lot.

Sometimes I round them up and put them away. Other times I round them up and take them back inside.

One of these days I’m gonna see one of these cart-abandoning bitches and push the cart into their car as they back up. (I won’t, actually, but I will probably be blind with rage and I can’t make any promises for what Wolf me might do.)

I know it’s a small thing, but for fuck’s sake…! Why can’t you just be a decent person and PUT THE CART AWAY? *has a meltdown*

It’s things like that which make it so easy for me to understand all the hate flying back and forth across the internet. So few people consider others, in things big or small. Because that’s what putting your shopping cart is: showing consideration for others who are using the parking lot, and also for the employees who are getting paid minimum wage to fetch them in. But it’s easier to be inconsiderate.

It’s someone else’s problem, I guess.

My other reason for feeling stabby is similar…
I am about to unfriend people on social media for continually posting memes about how the Millennial generation is a bunch of sad little babies who can’t cope with things that don’t go their way, and these memes also inevitably mention Millennials being given “participation trophies” and being told that we are all “special snowflakes”.

Excuse me?

I mean…we all know, don’t we, who it was handing out the trophies and telling us we were special, don’t we? (Surprise! It’s the Baby-Boomers and Gen-Xers who raised us!)

Also, let me tell some little stories about participation trophies and ribbons, and about how adults treat children, and what kids think of that as they grow up…

Once upon a time, I participated in a childhood activity, and we did receive participation trophies. And child me was all, “did we win something?”

Child me wasn’t an idiot. Child me knew that I wasn’t actually good at the activity I was participating in, and that a lot of the other kids were better…but maybe we won something against another group…?

No. No…you got these trophies because you did the activity. That’s all.

Child me was all, “wth is even the point of this?”
Child me understood winning, but not getting something for not winning. That doesn’t make sense.

Also, at the elementary/junior high I went to, we had a “field day” at the end of the year, where every class was split into four colours–red, blue, green, and yellow–and we played games and did relay races and all kinds of things, and at the end of the day all the points were tallied up for all the colour teams and then everyone got ribbons. A red ribbon for second, a green for third, a yellow for fourth. And blue ribbons for first.

And we know that kids like blue. Blue is a common favourite colour. Everyone wanted to get a blue ribbon, and my recollections are of kids genuinely trying to win because they wanted the blue ribbon.

There was only one time I ever remember a girl being content that her team lost, and when I said I felt bad that she didn’t win, she said, “that’s okay…yellow is my favourite colour.” See…now that’s an example of a kid trying to make the best of a situation, but I feel like one of these millennial-haters wouldn’t see it that way. They’d just see that she got a ribbon for participating, and they’d shake their heads.

I’ve never liked yellow, so child me couldn’t really understand her being content…but come on. Does anyone really think children are so stupid that they don’t want to win? That they actually get their second and third and fourth place and so on, and are just as excited about that as they would be if they knew they’d won?

No. Children are not stupid. Nice try.

Also, let me say just a bit about the whole “special snowflake” stuff I keep seeing…

Adults did not treat me like I was a special snowflake and like I needed special treatment and to be made happy and told how good I was.

All through my childhood and teenage years and even through college, other people my age decided I was “weird”. And the teachers and parents and on even to my college professors tended to agree with them. Pretty openly. And come on…kids know when you don’t like them. Or, at least I did.

So no, my experiences growing up and then as a young adult weren’t about being a “special” snowflake, but instead was about why I couldn’t find it in me to be as talkative and enthusiastic and fun as the other kids or the other students. That’s not adults telling me I am just as good, just as special and snowflakey as every other kid. That’s adults taking sides and telling me there was something wrong with me, just like the kids themselves thought.

Now…I know I’m not special and that I never really was and never will be. I know that. And knowing that should appease the mean old people who think this is okay to keep posting about…

But you know what’s equally odd? When you admit knowing you are not special, they decide you’re depressed and you need “help”. And you don’t. And certainly not from anyone spouting “Oprah’s participation ribbon club!” and “widdle melty snowflake tears!” garbage.

Here is a fun side fact: I was so mistrustful about receiving things I hadn’t earned that I spent my entire college career feeling like every good grade I ever received was a “participation ribbon”…like I didn’t really try, but they gave it to me anyway. And I graduated Summa Cum Laude.

I did extra assignments and took extra classes and worked hard because I wanted to win. I wanted to be better than the others. But I never felt like I tried hard enough. I always felt like it was a joke that I just wasn’t in on. That I wasn’t actually any good, but they kept giving me the good grades and the credits to make me think I was, all while sharing some little joke because they knew that I knew I was no good and it would confuse me…

I’m so angry
I was angry enough earlier that I was shaking and on the verge of tears…and I am again because it’s all just not fair.

And really, I think I do get it. What everyone has been getting so upset about more and more this year. People are so fucking hateful. (I know…me, too. I want to be good and kind, but I know I’m not and I shouldn’t lie about that.)

I can’t address the bigger problems–and there are much bigger problems than mine right now–of people being hateful, because I have limited experience in those areas. And I admit that. I’m not qualified to speak about what I don’t understand. But I am qualified to speak about the inconsiderate grocery cart bitches and the older crowd (which isn’t THAT much older, tbh) on Facebook that wants to take out all their bad feelings on the young people who they themselves raised.

…I guess they can burn to the ground all the special snowflakes along with everyone else that’s being hated on right now. Maybe play Let It Go in the background to be ironic.

And share some hot chocolate. With marshmallows.


It would all be very wholesome.