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Well, that was exciting. I worked almost 46.5 hours from Friday to Sunday.

I’m never doing it again.

It wasn’t too bad until Friday night, when I realized around 1am that I wasn’t going to sleep much at all that night. I slept for about 3.5 hours before going back to the theatre, and then spent Saturday feeling terrible. Not so much a physical awfulness, but the kind that’s in your mind when you are too tired…where you can’t focus and your eyes feel weird…

I felt better sometime in the middle of the afternoon, but that started to go away around 8-9pm…I spent the rest of the evening ushering and having an excellent time with some of my crew, trying to outdo each other with sarcasm and witty remarks, but I was definitely struggling to keep moving and thinking coherently. (Which is why I wisely decided I shouldn’t interact with the guests.)

I got to sleep almost 7 hours before I came back on Sunday morning, so Sunday wasn’t terrible, but I am never ever ever going to work more than one double at a time again. Not ever.

On the upside though, I think I finally got it through to my crew how desperate I am to get people to open up their availabilities, and how much I mean it when I keep urging them to have their job-searching friends apply at the theatre.

Plus…dedication. I think I’ve done a good job illustrating that there is no reason for them to keep having such terrible attitudes about the general activity of working. If I can still be friendly and do my job after three days straight, they can at least try. I’m not asking for a lot.

And morale is pretty bad at our theatre right now…the worst I’ve ever experienced at this location so far. After the crew all found out Mike was leaving, everyone’s been discussing leaving the theatre. And I know I’ve thought of it myself, but I can’t just leave while Jester is also looking for a new job–I need him to be stable first, at wherever he ends up. And that means I stay at the theatre for a while yet. And I need for everyone to not quit on me.

One of my least favourite questions to get from the crew is the hypothetical one of “what would happen if one day we just all quit at once?”

Like…do other businesses put up with this nonsense? Maybe just ones that employ a lot of young teenagers who like to ask these absurd kinds of things…idk.

(Answer to that question, Wolf says: I’ll lose my goddamn mind.)

I have a helluva lot of HR stuff to do tomorrow…I need to do a paperwork session for a new bartender, call and set up interviews with applicants…and write the schedule with the sad, small group of employees I have at my disposal right now.

I don’t know what else I ought to do though…I feel like I need to do something to improve morale, but what is there to do? I can’t do most of the things that would actually make the crew more satisfied, because all of the root problems are with the parent company, and not with our particular theatre…

It’s a bad feeling for me all over right now. Like bailing water out of a little boat, and knowing that it’s not really enough to keep everyone from sinking…

So that’s where I’m at right now. Trying really hard to keep it together and feeling like nobody else is really trying as hard as I am right now…and also being scared that whoever comes and takes Mike’s place is going to upset everything I’ve been working at to placate and bribe our crew and get them to do what I need them to do through the end of the holiday season.

At least it’s taken my mind off of the less than welcoming Thanksgiving situation that happened with Jester’s family. They still don’t seem to grasp that I work on holidays, and they have never seemed terribly considerate about including Jester in what are typically family-centric traditions…so they assumed that because we were both working, they didn’t need to bother about either of us, and instead of having a family dinner, they had more of a lunch with friends of theirs.

Wth.

I was in kind of a rage about it when I left work that day, knowing that we’d intended to spend this holiday with his family instead of mine, and they hadn’t even tried to include us. So I didn’t even stop there and instead went directly to my own family’s house because they always have made an effort to include me or to have things on a timetable where I could join them. Every year for the last six years.

Not that I am trying to find fault with them…but I do. Because that’s the point of holidays, is it not? To celebrate with those you are close with? To include people and show them you care?

Doesn’t seem very caring or inclusive to me when you don’t try to account for your loved ones’ obligations. But what do I know?

*sigh*
Well. I have no idea what else will happen over the last few weeks of this year, but I guess Wednesday night I will have my year-end playlist ready to go.

And I apologise in advance for this playlist, as less than half of it is in English this year, but at least there is more of a variety among the artists this year, since last year was comprised of just 6 different musical groups…I think I have 10 this year so far.

Until then, cheers.

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