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Welp. This is the end of day 6 of my illness…

I’ve never had a cold come on so damned fast. I was fine at work last Friday, and then I got home and BAM. I knew I was sick. And my shifts were such that I couldn’t really skip out on them and have someone else take over. And one of my employees pointed out that I must be especially unhappy because everyone else had the sicknesses during the holidays, so they all suffered together, and now that I’m late to the party, “nobody feels bad for you.”

Thaaaaaaanks, Karen.

This also happened–

Me: *coughing* Why did you spray so much air freshener in here?
Thabet: It’s not air freshener. It’s germicidal cleaner. And I sprayed it because of you.
Me: Me?
Thabet: You’re sick and you’ve been touching everything!
Me: And I’ll do it again. *touches a fingertip to the countertop, the keyboard, the computer mouse, the monitor screen…*
Thabet: Ha! *taps monitor screen* Nobody ever touches the screen!
Me: You literally just did.
Thabet: Damn it!
Me: Heh heh heh.
Thabet: Okay, so you got me there.
Me: If only I could use my powers for more useful evil things. This kind of low-level evil doesn’t impress anyone. Just imagine–‘Mein Führer! *pretends to wave someone over* I’ve managed some truly evil things today. I forwarded you a full account, but I also brought a copy with me just in case you didn’t get the one I sent–I promise you’ll be impressed this time!’
Thabet: *laughs* Hitler spends all his time trying to avoid you.
Me: *sigh* I’ll never be evil enough…but…at least we don’t have to work in squalor anymore, since you wiped everything down. *looks under the desk* We’ll just ignore the floor situation.
Thabet: Yeah, they are bad…remember when you used to make me clean the office every night?
Me: Beats doing it myself. Another stroke of evil genius. Hey! *looking under the desk again* There’s a chocolate right next to the ant trap we put down…ants aren’t even going to go in the trap now that they have options!
Thabet: You know what, I’ll fix that. *picks up the chocolate and goes to put it on top of the ant trap, promptly putting his hand into a spider web* Oh God–a SPIDER! *bolts out of the room*
Me: *busts up laughing for a solid minute*
Thabet: *comes back to the office* I hate you.

Another low-key evil thing about me: I’ve always found it pretty hilarious when people run from insects that don’t have wings. I mean…why?
So that was probably the best moment out of my entire weekend. (Which you can use to help you judge just how poorly I have been feeling…)

I feel much better than I did though. Probably from just not being at work, which is irritating me still to the point where I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

I slept badly last night…from about 2-6am, and then again from 9-1, with this stupid stretch of time in between where I couldn’t get comfortable and my skin was itching quite badly (stupid winter air…). Finally took some melatonin to knock myself out again.

And I felt well enough when I woke up…did some cleaning in the apartment and laundry…but started feeling bad right before Jester got home from work. Feverish and tired. Took something for the fever and ate a sandwich with him when he got back…he went to sleep and I came back in here to write a post, but couldn’t focus, so instead I finished up Dracula vs. Hitler.

About midway through the book the story got a lot better…I was kind of impressed with some of the things Duncan did as a nod to Stoker’s original story. Good for him. The ultimate characterization of Dracula was a liiiiiittle disappointing, and I think he left one distinctly gaping plot hole in the story…but in view of the overall story, I see that maybe these were unavoidable in order to bring about the meeting between Dracula and Hitler, which is the whole purpose of this particular book, after all.

So not the best book I’ve ever read, but it was definitely better than I was afraid it might be.