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I keep thinking more and more that maybe I should try medication for anxiety.

Because of things like this, which happen too regularly for me to not be concerned…

*walking at the park, not in the wooded area where I usually walk, but on the path that goes through a field. A very flat field, which has been cut recently. It’s too early in the spring for the plants to have started growing tall again. In a few areas, there little clusters of trees.*

*Looking around at all of this…feeling uneasy…the trees are awfully far away…*

Wolf: Hey…
Me: ?
Wolf: Let’s not walk here anymore.
Me: Omg.
Wolf: No, hear me out–what if a crazy person comes to the park, right?
Me: No.
Wolf: This is literally the worst place to be walking.
Me: It’s fine. I like walking here.
Wolf: …
Me: …
Wolf: There’s no cover.
Me: OMG, why are you this way?!
Wolf: Probably because of that time we came here and listened to the people at the farm shoot 200+ rounds.
Me: You don’t like walking in cliff areas because you think we’ll fall to our death.
Wolf: It IS possible, you know.
Me: And when we walk in the woods you’re always looking to see if there are trees around that we could get up into.
Wolf: Because…you know…bears?
Me: No. No bears.
Wolf: Okay, yeah. Bears are unlikely. But not crazy people.
Me: If you were not me, this is the part where I’d give you a shake and tell you that you are a crazy person.
Wolf: …
Me: …
Wolf: There’s a drainage ditch close to the path here. One could hide out in there.
Me: I hate you.

And I know I’m making this out to be a little more lighthearted than it is…because it’s hard to really convey in one post both my thought process and the feeling of agitation I had at the time. I don’t know what the deal is. Maybe all that stupid “run/hide/fight” stuff they had us do in training at the theatre, in case we ever had an active shooter situation. But when I add in the bit about falling off a cliff, that doesn’t really fit in with that theory. I don’t know.

I don’t know what to do with myself.

On an unrelated subject…there is someone at work who’s on the “environmental services” team (a fancy way of talking about the people who do all the cleaning/garbage), and we talked a little bit when I was lost during my first two weeks at the hospital…and so now we always say hello to each other and he always has something nice or encouraging to say…but we’ve never introduced ourselves? Like…how does one address that? Online it’s fine to never introduce yourself by name because your screen name can BE your name…but in real life? It’s weird. And I know we wear nametags, but tbh, the names are TINY and I’d have to get super close to read it.

I dunno. I feel like I should introduce myself? But I feel weird about it. *conflicted*

…gotta go to bed now.

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