Today was so short… I hardly did anything.
I woke up around 3pm and then read for about two and a half hours before I finally dragged myself out of bed to go and take a shower.
I should definitely stop this whole thing where I go to sleep in the wee hours of the morning, then sleep for about 12 hours, and then wake up in the afternoon or early evening to do it all over again…
It just depresses me that even if I get up at a reasonable time, it hardly matters because I can’t go anywhere or do anything unless my dad has time/willingness to take me. I can’t very well take myself, and my mom really never takes me anywhere anymore ever. We used to go places together, but now that happens maybe once a month. I miss it… but I can’t make her want to drive anywhere, so I guess it doesn’t matter…
Plus, Chris has a sucky car that he can’t drive to my house, and that means he has to wait until his mom gets home from work before he can come over, and that means I don’t see him until maybe 6:30 or 7:00, and by then there’s not much you can go out and do anyway…
Oh, AND some of the things we used to go out and do, we can’t do anymore… like going to Blockbuster… we can’t do that because we owe them too much money and I refuse to pay it back because it’s my dad’s fault that we owe them anyway…
It’s really maddening…
So, why bother getting up if the only activities available to me are cleaning and watching the telly or using the internet? (or reading, of course)
I miss school. At least when I have classes, I have a reason to get up in the morning.
So, I showered and then it was time for dinner. I ate… and then I decided I may as well get outside for a while.
So, I went and sat out in the backyard and called Melody. I didn’t talk very much, but that’s fine with me. I like listening to her talk because she always sounds happy, even if she’s really frustrated. It makes me feel better.
It was sort of funny, too… because Denny lent her some money, so in exchange she was cleaning up his and Marshall’s apartment. So she was telling me what the dogs were doing while she was cleaning (the two dogs that live at her brother’s apartment and her dog that she took with her), and that Denny had christened Marshall’s puppy “Harry Potter.” I was very amused… she told me that H.P. kept pulling on Sam’s tail (Melody’s dog) and doing weird puppy things… and she was joking and asked me if I wanted to adopt Harry Potter so that he would stop annoying everyone.
Hee. The idea of me adopting a dog called Harry Potter is particularly funny because my sister, Stacy, still hasn’t given up referring to me as Snape sometimes.
But no, I won’t be adopting H.P. or Melody’s kitty… or Rocky. I just find amusing that my friends are always joking about giving their animals away to me.
But yeah, I talked to her for a while and didn’t get up until I noticed that I had spiders crawling on me… I dislike that, so I went for a walk around the yard and sat in the driveway for a while. Then I came back in and eventually got off the phone… read more in that other vampire book that I got—I like it much better than I liked the first one—and finally got bored with that and went around the house trying to find something to do…
Stacy and Dan were watching the Avatar DVDs, but they were watching ones I’d already seen, so I decided that was boring… and then the internet wasn’t working, so I couldn’t get on the computer and do anything… so I got really frustrated and went back downstairs and read some more.
I was in a really foul mood earlier… I feel like I need to leave the house at least once daily or I’ll go mad, and then if I get bored or if my plans on going somewhere don’t pan out, I get really mean because there’s just nothing to do but clean… and I don’t even want to do that because once I’ve done it, there really won’t be anything to do…
At least as long as I put off cleaning, the possibility of doing it still exists. But, once it’s done… bam. What then?
Well, I like being up at night, at least. I have no idea why because it’s very dull… but I like it.
I don’t like hearing things at night though. So, usually I play music all the time so I won’t have to hear things. I’m doing exactly that right now, but it’s worse in my room. I was telling my mom about it earlier… how usually I don’t mind if I can hear the frogs and the air conditioning blowing, but I hate it when I hear things that I’m not sure of.
Lately, I keep hearing things like buzzing… like bees, but I shouldn’t be hearing bees inside the house, in the middle of the night, should I? Bees are diurnal, aren’t they? Maybe I’m wrong, but I doubt it. And then after I wrap my sweatshirt around my head to blot out the noise, I’ll unwrap it after a while and the buzzing will be gone. Maybe it was never there to begin with.
It’s the same with the voices. I often think that I hear very indistinct voices chattering on and on and on… and I wonder if there’s a telly on somewhere in the house, but they never much sound like TV voices. In TV there are always pauses, but the voices I hear are always going on and on and on… until suddenly I realize that I just don’t hear them anymore. I would feel better if I could tell if they were inside or outside, but I never can. If they’re outside, they’re far enough away that they sound just barely real… just indistinct enough that I’m not really sure that I’m hearing them… and if they’re inside, then it’s no television channel I know. I mean, even if it was on a show or movie where people talk nonstop, I would surely hear an announcer’s voice when it got to a commercial, and I never do.
Maybe I’m just crazy and I haven’t really realized it yet.
The only noise I really am sure of is the whimpering noise I hear every night.
I often wonder if I’m fooling myself—that maybe it’s really a frog—but frogs don’t sound quite that way. The bullfrogs in our pond all sound really low and obviously frog-like, but the noise I keep hearing is more high pitched…
Like, the frogs all sound like “bruuuum… bruuuum… bruuum…”: lazy bullfrog noises with these big pauses between each sound. The other sound I keep hearing sounds more like a “hmm-hmm-hmmm, hmm-hmm-hmm!” Sort of scared or sad… and closer together. It doesn’t sound much like the frogs I’m familiar with… even the tiny little frogs don’t sound that way. They sound like an endless stream of “peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep-peep!”
Maybe I’m just crazy.
After all, the ice machine was making a weird noise that sounded like an animal or a monster… so I growled back at it and went to wake my mom up because I wasn’t sure of what was making the sound (and I learned from scary movies that one should not investigate such noises alone!). I was embarrassed that it was the ice machine. Still… better safe than sorry, yes?
Maybe I’m just crazy, darlings. Wouldn’t that be fun if I was? (privately, I’m inclined to think that it wouldn’t be… but you never know…)
Jeff Harwood: See, I can’t have too much caffeine because of a heart condition.
Chris Hetzer: Oh, I’ll probably have one later on. I’m really sensitive to caffeine now, too, because I don’t have pop in my diet.
Chris: But, at least coffee’s been proven to help prevent diabetes.
Reeser: So on the one hand, you won’t be diabetic, but you’ll still die from a heart problem.
Chris: Yep. It’s how things are in the medical world… like, “this new study says that you shouldn’t eat this one kind of sugar”, but if you eat the regular kind then—
Reeser: —then all this other bad stuff happens…
Jeff: It’s like running from a bear just to be caught by a lion.
Reeser: But at least the lion is made of sugar, so it’s not all bad.
Jeff: *sigh* Oh, just don’t listen to the study!
Chris: *laughs* Exactly!